JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.
Best Character
They were all really great, but I have to go with George for sure. He was the whole reason the contest came about and the absurd reason why was pure Costanza. Toss in the sponge bath theatre and his eventual fight with his mom over picking her up dinner so he didn't miss the show was so good.
Best Storyline
The contest. Possibly the easiest decision we will ever have while chronicling the series.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
Should George have skipped the sponge bath show to get his mom dinner? Probably, but not because she was hungry. But because sometimes you need to lose the battle to win the war. Get her dinner this time and be in the clear for future showings to be enjoyed at your leisure.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
George...and himself. A healthy, well satiated relationship. Doesn't matter where he is, he clearly isn't afraid of public affection. If only he showed Susan the same type of PDA, they may have survived the firing. Relationship Grade: 10/10
What Worked
George telling the story to open the episode was magic, including the reactions of everyone else; Glamour Magazine; The development of the contest was perfect; Kramer blurting out "no, a thousand" for Elaine's stake always makes me laugh; The nudist colony conversation was a good one; Kramer cashing out within a day was great and his money slam may be one of the funniest scenes in the show's history; The great Estelle Costanza debuts; George's distracted conversation with Shelly during the sponge bath was amazing and I have no idea how Estelle kept a straight face; Jerry dating the virgin during the contest even made me frustrated, great angle there; The cut-aways of all the characters in bed before the breaks were well done; All the euphemisms were brilliant and became very well known in pop culture; Estelle and George's argument was amazing, including the Tic Tac toss and Estelle's pained "I'm hungry!"; Wheels on the Bus vs. Kramer's porn narration; The bitchy argument between pent up George and Jerry capped by Elaine sheepishly bowing out of the contest and George's money sniff; Jerry blowing his chance with Marla after all that build up; Marla then snagging John John was a good payoff across the board, as was Kramer partying with the naked neighbor;
What Didn't Work
It all worked. All of it. Although Marla's overreaction to the contest always bugged me.
Key Character Debuts
Estelle Costanza
Shelly Costanza
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "My mother caught me." - George "Caught you? Doing what?" - Jerry "You know...I was alone.." - George
- "First she screams, "George, what are you doing?! My God!" And it looked like she was gonna faint - she started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it." - George "Man..." - Kramer "I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up." - George "What did you do?" - Jerry "I zipped up!" - George "So, she fell?" - Elaine "Yeah. Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was!" - George "No, I guess you couldn't have..." - Elaine "No, I wouldn't think so." - Jerry "...done that..." - Elaine "So, she fell, and then she started screaming, "My back! My back!" So, I picked her up and took her to the hospital." - George
- "Well, I'll tell you this, though - I am never doing.. that again." - George "What, you mean, in your mother's house, or all together?" - Elaine "All together." - George
- "Wait a second, wait a second. Count me in on this." - Kramer "You?" - Jerry "Yeah." - Kramer "You'll be out before we get the check." - Jerry
- "We have to do it. It's part of our lifestyle. It's like, uh...shaving." - Jerry "Oh, that is such bologna. I shave my legs." - Elaine "Not everyday." - Kramer
- A TV episode about the comical side of masturbation was groundbreaking
- Jerry is still dating Marla, The Virgin
- "Oh, the virgin?" - George "Yeah." - Jerry "Any, uh.. progress, there? What's the latest?" - George "Well, I got my troops amassed along the border - I'm just waiting for someone to give me the go-ahead." - Jerry
- "I'm out!" - Kramer "What?!" - Elaine "Yeah, I'm out - I'm out of the contest." - Kramer
- "I don't understand you. I really don't. You have nothing better to do at three o' clock in the afternoon? I go out for a quart of milk, I come home, and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!" - Estelle
- "Too bad you can't do that for a living. You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you! You could be a big star!" - Estelle
- "Master of My Domain" quickly became a pop culture euphemism
- "I can't take it anymore! She's driving me crazy! I can't sleep, I can't leave the house, and I' here, I'm climbin' the walls. Meanwhile, I'm dating a virgin, I'm in this contest - something's gotta give!" - Jerry
- "No, no, no, no. You can't! You can't! This is something that comes about once in a lifetime! When we were boys, looking through our bedroom windows, we would think: "Why can't there be a woman out there, taking her clothes off?" And now that wish's come true, and you want to throw it away?!" - Kramer "Look, I'm sorry..." - Jerry "No, I'm not gonna let you do it, Jerry." - Kramer "Kramer, get outta my way!" - Jerry "No, no, no. Don't do it. Don't do it! For my sake! God knows I don't ask you for much! Now, come on. Please, Jerry. Please! I'm beggin' ya! Please! Come on! Please!" - Kramer
- "But are you still master of your domain?" - Jerry "I am king of the county. You?" - George "Lord of the manor." - Jerry
- "Alright, Ma, I'll talk to you later.. Nothing, I'm, I'm watching, uh, Tiny Toons here, on Nickelodeon... It's, I-I like kid shows. They have a very innocent, wholesome quality. Okay, alright, I'll talk to you later. Bye." - Jerry
- "All you got is instant coffee? Why don't you get some real coffee?" - George "I don't keep real coffee in here, I get my coffee on the outside!" - Jerry
- "Where did you get those socks?" - George "I don't know." - Jerry "I think those are my socks!" - George "How are these your socks?!" - Jerry "I don't know, but those are my socks! I had a pair just like that with the blue stripe, and now I don't have them anymore!" - George "Oh, yeah, that's right, well, you fell asleep one day on the sofa and I took them off your stinkin' feet. They looked so good to me, I just had to have them!" - Jerry "Yeah, well, they're my socks!" - George "They're my socks!" - Jerry
- "I figured you'd cruise. At least through the Spring." - George
- "Contest?! A contest! This is what you do with your friends?" - Marla "No, it was just a bet. I mean, it actually started with George and his mother..." - Jerry
- "He left with Marla, the virgin?" - Elaine
Oddities & Fun Facts
- George's parents still work
- John F. Kennedy, Jr. does aerobics
- George's Tic Tac toss to Estelle was ad libbed
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
This was pretty much our first flawless episode. A real grand slam. Perfection across the board. The concept, the pacing, the delivery, the dialogue, all of it. It immediately became a legendary pop culture tour de force and solidified Seinfeld as an iconic show. It took a fairly taboo subject and added real levity and humor into the mix in a perfectly woven story of nonsense. Easily a pantheon episode and in the running for GOAT. Final Grade: 10/10
Best Character
They were all really great, but I have to go with George for sure. He was the whole reason the contest came about and the absurd reason why was pure Costanza. Toss in the sponge bath theatre and his eventual fight with his mom over picking her up dinner so he didn't miss the show was so good.
Best Storyline
The contest. Possibly the easiest decision we will ever have while chronicling the series.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
Should George have skipped the sponge bath show to get his mom dinner? Probably, but not because she was hungry. But because sometimes you need to lose the battle to win the war. Get her dinner this time and be in the clear for future showings to be enjoyed at your leisure.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
George...and himself. A healthy, well satiated relationship. Doesn't matter where he is, he clearly isn't afraid of public affection. If only he showed Susan the same type of PDA, they may have survived the firing. Relationship Grade: 10/10
What Worked
George telling the story to open the episode was magic, including the reactions of everyone else; Glamour Magazine; The development of the contest was perfect; Kramer blurting out "no, a thousand" for Elaine's stake always makes me laugh; The nudist colony conversation was a good one; Kramer cashing out within a day was great and his money slam may be one of the funniest scenes in the show's history; The great Estelle Costanza debuts; George's distracted conversation with Shelly during the sponge bath was amazing and I have no idea how Estelle kept a straight face; Jerry dating the virgin during the contest even made me frustrated, great angle there; The cut-aways of all the characters in bed before the breaks were well done; All the euphemisms were brilliant and became very well known in pop culture; Estelle and George's argument was amazing, including the Tic Tac toss and Estelle's pained "I'm hungry!"; Wheels on the Bus vs. Kramer's porn narration; The bitchy argument between pent up George and Jerry capped by Elaine sheepishly bowing out of the contest and George's money sniff; Jerry blowing his chance with Marla after all that build up; Marla then snagging John John was a good payoff across the board, as was Kramer partying with the naked neighbor;
What Didn't Work
It all worked. All of it. Although Marla's overreaction to the contest always bugged me.
Key Character Debuts
Estelle Costanza
Shelly Costanza
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "My mother caught me." - George "Caught you? Doing what?" - Jerry "You know...I was alone.." - George
- "First she screams, "George, what are you doing?! My God!" And it looked like she was gonna faint - she started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it." - George "Man..." - Kramer "I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up." - George "What did you do?" - Jerry "I zipped up!" - George "So, she fell?" - Elaine "Yeah. Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was!" - George "No, I guess you couldn't have..." - Elaine "No, I wouldn't think so." - Jerry "...done that..." - Elaine "So, she fell, and then she started screaming, "My back! My back!" So, I picked her up and took her to the hospital." - George
- "Well, I'll tell you this, though - I am never doing.. that again." - George "What, you mean, in your mother's house, or all together?" - Elaine "All together." - George
- "Wait a second, wait a second. Count me in on this." - Kramer "You?" - Jerry "Yeah." - Kramer "You'll be out before we get the check." - Jerry
- "We have to do it. It's part of our lifestyle. It's like, uh...shaving." - Jerry "Oh, that is such bologna. I shave my legs." - Elaine "Not everyday." - Kramer
- A TV episode about the comical side of masturbation was groundbreaking
- Jerry is still dating Marla, The Virgin
- "Oh, the virgin?" - George "Yeah." - Jerry "Any, uh.. progress, there? What's the latest?" - George "Well, I got my troops amassed along the border - I'm just waiting for someone to give me the go-ahead." - Jerry
- "I'm out!" - Kramer "What?!" - Elaine "Yeah, I'm out - I'm out of the contest." - Kramer
- "I don't understand you. I really don't. You have nothing better to do at three o' clock in the afternoon? I go out for a quart of milk, I come home, and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!" - Estelle
- "Too bad you can't do that for a living. You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you! You could be a big star!" - Estelle
- "Master of My Domain" quickly became a pop culture euphemism
- "I can't take it anymore! She's driving me crazy! I can't sleep, I can't leave the house, and I' here, I'm climbin' the walls. Meanwhile, I'm dating a virgin, I'm in this contest - something's gotta give!" - Jerry
- "No, no, no, no. You can't! You can't! This is something that comes about once in a lifetime! When we were boys, looking through our bedroom windows, we would think: "Why can't there be a woman out there, taking her clothes off?" And now that wish's come true, and you want to throw it away?!" - Kramer "Look, I'm sorry..." - Jerry "No, I'm not gonna let you do it, Jerry." - Kramer "Kramer, get outta my way!" - Jerry "No, no, no. Don't do it. Don't do it! For my sake! God knows I don't ask you for much! Now, come on. Please, Jerry. Please! I'm beggin' ya! Please! Come on! Please!" - Kramer
- "But are you still master of your domain?" - Jerry "I am king of the county. You?" - George "Lord of the manor." - Jerry
- "Alright, Ma, I'll talk to you later.. Nothing, I'm, I'm watching, uh, Tiny Toons here, on Nickelodeon... It's, I-I like kid shows. They have a very innocent, wholesome quality. Okay, alright, I'll talk to you later. Bye." - Jerry
- "All you got is instant coffee? Why don't you get some real coffee?" - George "I don't keep real coffee in here, I get my coffee on the outside!" - Jerry
- "Where did you get those socks?" - George "I don't know." - Jerry "I think those are my socks!" - George "How are these your socks?!" - Jerry "I don't know, but those are my socks! I had a pair just like that with the blue stripe, and now I don't have them anymore!" - George "Oh, yeah, that's right, well, you fell asleep one day on the sofa and I took them off your stinkin' feet. They looked so good to me, I just had to have them!" - Jerry "Yeah, well, they're my socks!" - George "They're my socks!" - Jerry
- "I figured you'd cruise. At least through the Spring." - George
- "Contest?! A contest! This is what you do with your friends?" - Marla "No, it was just a bet. I mean, it actually started with George and his mother..." - Jerry
- "He left with Marla, the virgin?" - Elaine
Oddities & Fun Facts
- George's parents still work
- John F. Kennedy, Jr. does aerobics
- George's Tic Tac toss to Estelle was ad libbed
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
This was pretty much our first flawless episode. A real grand slam. Perfection across the board. The concept, the pacing, the delivery, the dialogue, all of it. It immediately became a legendary pop culture tour de force and solidified Seinfeld as an iconic show. It took a fairly taboo subject and added real levity and humor into the mix in a perfectly woven story of nonsense. Easily a pantheon episode and in the running for GOAT. Final Grade: 10/10
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