JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.
Best Character
Easily George here. He was tremendous the whole time, between being so callously dismissive about Eldridge and the sinking ship as well as his fantastic recounting of his life's tragedies. It was all peak Costanza. I enjoyed Jerry here too, mainly the scene of him delivering the mail.
Best Storyline
All Andrea Doria here for me. The scene of George telling the stories to the board is an all time classic and I love how he becomes more and more steadfast in his dismissal of the Doria sinking as a legit tragedy.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
Should you allow your poor dog to be whored out to a creep with croup? What a shit dog owner, that dude should be put down or locked up and let poor Smuckers go live with someone that gives a shit.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
George should have banged Mrs. Ricardi and earn that apartment the hard way. Then he would have another story for the Astonishing Tales of Costanza as well. Relationship Grade: $50/10
What Worked:
Kramer choking down the hot dog like Kobayashi always makes me laugh; George being a dick about his great new apartment was great as was him pretending to play basketball with the association head; Elaine reading the sugar packet out of boredom; Jerry's comment about the expiration date after Kramer coughed on the food was good as was the mixup over Andrea Doria, Edmund Fitzgerald and Gordon Lightfoot; Kramer's bizarre book collection and his nonchalant "he's not gonna do it" about Newman was a good back to back; George tormenting Eldridge was fantastic and Jerry's idea to tell the story of his suffering to the tenant board was brilliant; Jerry forcing Newman to wait in the hallway made me chuckle and I really enjoyed the unholy alliance; Jerry's "where I come to play with my toys" line is a favorite of mine; Jerry forcing the pill down Kramer's throat is good physical comedy as was Jerry jingling the keys to get Kramer in the car; The Costanzas are always a delight; George telling his story to the board is an all timer; Kramer biting Newman and Jerry delivering the mail was good stuff
What Didn't Work
I never really got into the dog coughing storyline, it seemed a bit too far out there; And why would Smuckers' owner just let a random person borrow his dog?; George pronouncing buffet "BooFay" was a bit much; I want to like the Kramer as Lassie bit but I just can't... it's just all too much; Alan getting the apartment felt really tacked on and forced too
Key Character Debuts
- N/A
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Yeah, well, they like to call it a set-up now. I guess the blind people don't like being associated with all those losers." - Jerry
- "Well, it's coughing, Jerry. It expells the diseased germs out of the body, into the air." - Kramer
- "Well... the Andrea Doria... that was quite a fire." - George "Shipwreck." - Mrs. Ricardi "I remember..." - George
- "That's no tragedy! How many people do you lose on a normal cruse? 30? 40?! Kramer, can I take a look at that book?" - George
- "To Hawaii. The most sought-after postal route of them all. The air is so dewy-sweet you don't even have to like the stamps." - Newman
- "So what are you gonna do?" - Jerry "Dump him. I can't be with someone who doesn't break up nicely. I mean, to me, that's one of the most important parts of a relationship." - Elaine
- "Oh, I'll take a vet over an M.D. any day. They gotta be able to cure a lizard, a chicken, a pig, a frog all on the same day." - Kramer
- "We had to abandon ship." - Eldridge "Well, all vacations have to end eventually." - George "The boat sank." - Eldridge "According to this, it took... 10 hours. It eased into the water like an old man into a nice warm bath - no offense." - George
- "So, he's keeping the apartment. He doesn't deserve it, though! Even if he did suffer, that was, like, 40 years ago! What has he been doing lately?! I've been suffering for the past 30 years up to and including yesterday!" - George
- "The guy who had the Hawaii transfer got busted for hoarding Victoria Secret catalogues. I gotta deliver that mail!" - Newman
- "Whatever it takes, for as long as it takes me, where ever it takes me as long as it takes you away from me!" - Jerry
- "You can't deliver mail!" - Newman "Well, why not?" - Jerry "I guess you're right. It's just walking around putting it into boxes." - Newman
- "Hey, I've been trying to jam stuff in the box, like you told me, but sometimes it says, like, "Photographs - Do not bend"." - Jerry ""Do not bend". Just crease, crumple, cram... you'll do fine." - Newman
- "Nothing... Except that a bird ran into my giant freak-head." - Elaine "What giant freak-head?" - Jerry "The one that sits atop my disproportunately puny body... I'm a walking candy apple!" - Elaine
Oddities & Fun Facts
- Kramer references his vasectomy in a callback to The Soul Mate (S8, E2)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
This is one I really wanted to like as a whole but there were some parts that just prevent it from moving into that upper tier. The Andrea Doria and mail stories were a lot of fun with some classic scenes but I just don't really like the Smuckers stuff as it was too unrealistic across the board and it dragged things down for me. I also didn't care much for the Elaine and Alan story. They should have just had Elaine be looped in with Kramer's illness and maybe call back to their past issues with doctors or something. George was a beast here and I loved the brief Frank and Estelle run in but it just wasn't enough to carry this one to the top. Final Grade: 7/10
Best Character
Easily George here. He was tremendous the whole time, between being so callously dismissive about Eldridge and the sinking ship as well as his fantastic recounting of his life's tragedies. It was all peak Costanza. I enjoyed Jerry here too, mainly the scene of him delivering the mail.
Best Storyline
All Andrea Doria here for me. The scene of George telling the stories to the board is an all time classic and I love how he becomes more and more steadfast in his dismissal of the Doria sinking as a legit tragedy.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
Should you allow your poor dog to be whored out to a creep with croup? What a shit dog owner, that dude should be put down or locked up and let poor Smuckers go live with someone that gives a shit.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
George should have banged Mrs. Ricardi and earn that apartment the hard way. Then he would have another story for the Astonishing Tales of Costanza as well. Relationship Grade: $50/10
What Worked:
Kramer choking down the hot dog like Kobayashi always makes me laugh; George being a dick about his great new apartment was great as was him pretending to play basketball with the association head; Elaine reading the sugar packet out of boredom; Jerry's comment about the expiration date after Kramer coughed on the food was good as was the mixup over Andrea Doria, Edmund Fitzgerald and Gordon Lightfoot; Kramer's bizarre book collection and his nonchalant "he's not gonna do it" about Newman was a good back to back; George tormenting Eldridge was fantastic and Jerry's idea to tell the story of his suffering to the tenant board was brilliant; Jerry forcing Newman to wait in the hallway made me chuckle and I really enjoyed the unholy alliance; Jerry's "where I come to play with my toys" line is a favorite of mine; Jerry forcing the pill down Kramer's throat is good physical comedy as was Jerry jingling the keys to get Kramer in the car; The Costanzas are always a delight; George telling his story to the board is an all timer; Kramer biting Newman and Jerry delivering the mail was good stuff
What Didn't Work
I never really got into the dog coughing storyline, it seemed a bit too far out there; And why would Smuckers' owner just let a random person borrow his dog?; George pronouncing buffet "BooFay" was a bit much; I want to like the Kramer as Lassie bit but I just can't... it's just all too much; Alan getting the apartment felt really tacked on and forced too
Key Character Debuts
- N/A
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Yeah, well, they like to call it a set-up now. I guess the blind people don't like being associated with all those losers." - Jerry
- "Well, it's coughing, Jerry. It expells the diseased germs out of the body, into the air." - Kramer
- "Well... the Andrea Doria... that was quite a fire." - George "Shipwreck." - Mrs. Ricardi "I remember..." - George
- "That's no tragedy! How many people do you lose on a normal cruse? 30? 40?! Kramer, can I take a look at that book?" - George
- "To Hawaii. The most sought-after postal route of them all. The air is so dewy-sweet you don't even have to like the stamps." - Newman
- "So what are you gonna do?" - Jerry "Dump him. I can't be with someone who doesn't break up nicely. I mean, to me, that's one of the most important parts of a relationship." - Elaine
- "Oh, I'll take a vet over an M.D. any day. They gotta be able to cure a lizard, a chicken, a pig, a frog all on the same day." - Kramer
- "We had to abandon ship." - Eldridge "Well, all vacations have to end eventually." - George "The boat sank." - Eldridge "According to this, it took... 10 hours. It eased into the water like an old man into a nice warm bath - no offense." - George
- "So, he's keeping the apartment. He doesn't deserve it, though! Even if he did suffer, that was, like, 40 years ago! What has he been doing lately?! I've been suffering for the past 30 years up to and including yesterday!" - George
- "The guy who had the Hawaii transfer got busted for hoarding Victoria Secret catalogues. I gotta deliver that mail!" - Newman
- "Whatever it takes, for as long as it takes me, where ever it takes me as long as it takes you away from me!" - Jerry
- "You can't deliver mail!" - Newman "Well, why not?" - Jerry "I guess you're right. It's just walking around putting it into boxes." - Newman
- "Hey, I've been trying to jam stuff in the box, like you told me, but sometimes it says, like, "Photographs - Do not bend"." - Jerry ""Do not bend". Just crease, crumple, cram... you'll do fine." - Newman
- "Nothing... Except that a bird ran into my giant freak-head." - Elaine "What giant freak-head?" - Jerry "The one that sits atop my disproportunately puny body... I'm a walking candy apple!" - Elaine
Oddities & Fun Facts
- Kramer references his vasectomy in a callback to The Soul Mate (S8, E2)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
This is one I really wanted to like as a whole but there were some parts that just prevent it from moving into that upper tier. The Andrea Doria and mail stories were a lot of fun with some classic scenes but I just don't really like the Smuckers stuff as it was too unrealistic across the board and it dragged things down for me. I also didn't care much for the Elaine and Alan story. They should have just had Elaine be looped in with Kramer's illness and maybe call back to their past issues with doctors or something. George was a beast here and I loved the brief Frank and Estelle run in but it just wasn't enough to carry this one to the top. Final Grade: 7/10
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