Seinfeld: The Series Rewatch - "The Cafe" (S3, E7)

JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.

Best Character

George takes it here, just for his lying over the stained test alone. "Why would I go out the door, the window is right here?" just sums up George perfectly. That whole scene was great. Jerry was a close second for his complete destruction of Babu's life along with his mocking of the test caper throughout. I thought he had a lot of good lines in this one. Babu, Elaine and Kramer were all strong in support.

Best Storyline

Before I pressed play, I was set to give this category to The Dream Cafe renovation, but I think the IQ Test storyline delivered more high quality moments and kept the episode moving along. The Dream storyline was really just there to set the backdrop for the test taking. The absurdity of the whole thing, the idea that George had to cheat on this extremely meaningless test, and how George kept digging himself further and further into the hole just to keep the lie going, when in reality none of it mattered delivered on a whole.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

If somebody leaves a jacket at your mother's house, should you return it once they become aware? Especially if the guy is so obsessed with the jacket that he angrily tracks you down and threatens to beat you up? I guess it depends if he is still banging your mom. If not, then screw it, especially if it is a super awesome jacket that gives swag powers, such as this one. If the guy really cared so much about the jacket, he shouldn't have been so lousy goosey about it in the first place.

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

George and Monica are the main relationship on display here and it really comes across as wasted potential. Monica was cute, smart and really seemed into George, so much so that she really overlooked his obvious lies after the first test. It is too bad George was too concerned about having a shit IQ to embrace the sweet embrace of the delightfully pure and classy Monica. Relationship Grade: 4/10

What Worked

Jerry's concern for Babu works perfectly because it sums up Seinfeld: care about the inane, but not about things they should care about; George cheating on a meaningless IQ test is tremendous; Babu was a perfectly crafted character and he nailed all his beats, including standing over Jerry as he eats so he can immediately refill his water; It is pretty funny how Babu just has a weird variety of ethnic foods on his menu; We are really starting to get a nice dose of the random asides that pick apart those conversations about nothing, highlighted by the brief statue/statute argument; Kramer's instance on annoying Elaine with questions about the test ending with the fumbling of the hot towel made me laugh out loud and it carried over to the second test attempt, even as he is dodging the madman; Jerry's smug excitement over his brilliant ideas was very relatable; George's on the spot story about spilling food on the test was cringe enducingly great; Kramer's stubbornness over the jacket was good too, especially since they teased it in the episodes leading to this; I love how Babu is a dick to Jerry after his Pakistani conversion bombed and that Jerry had the balls to criticize the shrimp.

What Didn't Work

George's elderly man sweater vest is a really odd choice; Does Babu have people cooking for him or does he run this joint on his own, we never really find out; Jerry was out of town for "about a week" but it doesn't seem like it based on the other stories.

Key Character Debuts

Babu Bhatt

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

- "You know, I could probably shoot him from here. I would be doing us both a favor." - Jerry
- "Cassus Belli" - Elaine
- "What's Cassus Belli?" - George "Oh, it's nothing." - Jerry "Is it about me?" - George
- "Hey, I love a good caper" - George "Yeah that's what it is, isn't it? A caper!" - Elaine
- "Isn't there a statue of limitations on that?" - Kramer "A statute." - Jerry "A what?" - Kramer "A statute, it's not a statue of limitations" - Jerry " No, it's statue" - Kramer "Fine, it's a sculpture of limitations" - Jerry "Just wait... Elaine, you're smart...is it statue or statute of limitations?" - Kramer "It's statute" - Elaine "Oh...I really think you're wrong!" - Kramer
- "Babu Bhatt did it." - Elaine "Babu Bhatt? How am I going to explain this?" - George
- "Is he coming up?" - Elaine "I'm no genius...but according to my calculation, he should be here any minute!" - Jerry
- "Maybe the test was gender biased? You know, a lot of questions around hunting...testicles" - Jerry
- "Oh...hello professor!" - George
- "You bad man...you very, very bad man!" - Babu

Oddities & Fun Facts

- George lies about his SAT score, claiming he received a 1409

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

While this wasn't a Hall of Fame episode, it is certainly very memorable, thanks to Babu, and an All Star level outing. It felt like a really hard hit double in the gap: Effective and fun to watch. It had two very strong storylines and Babu may be our first legit recurring guest pantheon character to show up on screen. I love his turn from happy-go-lucky entrepreneur to angry, pissed off dick and how he just took out all his frustrations on Jerry, who just couldn't help himself in criticizing the shrimp. I had a hard time coming up with anything wrong with this one, but it was just missing those few big laughs to really put it over the top. The show is on a hell of a run right now, though, alternating all time classics with really damn solid episodes. Final Grade: 7/10