Seinfeld: The Series Rewatch - "The Face Painter" (S6, E23)

JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.

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Best Character

I have to go with David Puddy here. He was fantastic with his cool demeanor and simple explanations of the absurd. The scene with him sending the priest into a state of shock was super memorable and the last scene with him and his boys shirtless in the Ueker seats was a nice wrap on everything. Puddy for life!

Best Storyline

I will go with the hockey tickets since it ties in Jerry's thank you bullshit with Alec Berg, David Puddy's face painting and the capper at the end. Puddy's initial emergence with the makeup on is glorious as was his assault of the priest.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

Alec Berg gave Jerry free front row playoff hockey tickets. Call and say thanks again you dick! What a dumb time to take a stand. An incorrect stand at that! He absolutely should be giving a call that next day. Just say thanks, Jerome!

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

Why did Siena have to be such a cold bitch to George? Give some detail to poor George. Don't just ignore him twice and giggle him off like he was a 10 year old. Grow up! Relationship Grade: Left Ear/10

What Worked:

George's toilet paper monologue and Jerry criticizing Elaine complimenting the soup to the bus boy was a great back to back start; ALEC BERG; Jerry's "he's dating a crayon" line and him and Elaine proving the toilet paper theory wrong made for a top notch scene; The initial reveal of Puddy with his face painted is absurdly awesome, as is his behavior during the game; George getting hung out to dry with his "I Love You"; Puddy scaring the priest was brilliant; George ordering the matzah ball soup was a nice touch; The demise of Gary Fogel was really well done; I love Jerry's Puddy face and the way he and Elaine just carry on banally as everyone weeps in the background; Kramer defending himself about the monkey altercation was good, especially the "so am I" line; You stubborn, stupid, silly man!; The quick transition of Puddy from capable, normal mechanic to bizarre face painting weirdo was beautifully effective; "Yeah, that's right"; Jerry rushing his mom off the phone and Kramer apologizing to Barry; Kramer berating Jerry into calling Alec and Jerry desperately playing the Houseman card; Jerry and Kramer with the Devils fans and the priest thinking Elaine was an angel closed things out nicely

What Didn't Work

When the crew become such big hockey fans? Damn frontrunners; I hate the way Kramer says "monkey" and "hockey"; Jerry is a real douchebag about saying thank you to poor Alec Berg; Why are George and Siena always in the damn car?; And Siena is mad harsh at the end; How does Berg know Puddy? I must know!

Key Character Debuts

Siena
Alec Berg

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

- "Take toilet paper for example. Do you realize that toilet paper has not changed in my lifetime? It's just paper on a cardboard roll, that's it. And in ten thousand years, it will still be exactly the same because really, what else can they do?" - George "That's true. There really has been no development in toilet paper." - Siena "And everything else has changed. But toilet paper is exactly the same, and will be so until we're dead." - George "Yeah, you're right George. What else can they do?" - Siena "It's just paper on a roll, that's it. And that's all it will ever be." - George
- "Elaine, it's all this guy can do to keep from killing himself. You think he's back there, talking to the chef, going, "Hey, they like the soup! Keep it up!"?" - Jerry
- "Well what about these nitwits that get on a plane with nothing to read? You know who these people are?" - Jerry "Who?" - Elaine "These are the people that want to talk to you. They got nothing else to do, why not disturb you?" - Jerry "I will never understand people." - Elaine "They're the worst." - Jerry
- "I saw Siena again." - George "Siena?" - Elaine "Yeah, he's dating a crayon." - Jerry
- "Cause if you don't get that return, that's a pretty big matzah ball hanging out there." - Jerry "Aw, I've just got to say it once, everybody else gets to say it, why can't I say it?" - George "What, you never said it?" - Elaine "Once, to a dog. He licked himself and left the room." - George "Well, so it wasn't a total loss." - Jerry
- "Yeah, like Diane Fosse. You know she's the only person that's ever been accepted into gorilla society. And you know, once those gorillas accept you, you got it made in the shade." - Kramer
- "You painted your face?" - Elaine "Yeah." - Puddy "Why?" - Elaine "You know, support the team." - Puddy "Well, you can't walk around like that." - Elaine "Why not?" - Puddy "Because it's insane?" - Elaine "Hey, you gotta let them know you're out there, this is the playoffs." - Puddy
- "Because I... I love you." - George "You know, I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat." - Siena
- "Hey, what are you doing?! Watch where you're driving, man! Don't mess with the Devils, buddy. We're number one, we beat anybody! We're the Devils! The Devils!! Haaaa!!!" - Puddy
- "You have any idea how fast these things deteriorate when there's an 'I love you' out of the bag? You can't have a relationship where one person says, "I love you", and the other says, "I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat."" - George "Unless you're married." - Jerry
- "Hey, Jerry? You're a smart guy, right?" - Kramer "No question about it." - Jerry
- "Remember the guy who pretended he had cancer so O would buy him the toupee?" - Jerry "So he actually had it?" - Kramer "No, car accident. He was trying to adjust his toupee while he was driving and he lost control of the car." - Jerry
- "Well, he's not functioning the way he normally does. He seems depressed. He's lost his appetite. He's even curtailed his autoerotic activities. And we think this is directly related to the altercation he had with you the other day." - Mr. Pless "So, so what do you want me to do?" - Kramer "Well, frankly we'd like you to apologize." - Mr. Pless "Yeah, well he started it." - Kramer "Mr. Kramer, he is an innocent primate." - Mr. Pless "So am I." - Kramer
- " She probably never heard it. Don't you see what this means? It's like the whole thing never happened. It's like when Superman reversed the rotation of the earth to save Lois Lane!" - George "Are you gonna say it again?" - Jerry "That's the question, Jimmy." - George
- "Jerry, this is the way society functions. Aren't you a part of society? Because if you don't want to be a part of society, Jerry, why don't you just get in your car and move to the East Side!" - Kramer "Look, we got five hours before the game. I am betting it was a funeral 'hello'. He knows we're here, he knows the number, he knows we want to go. There's plenty of time for him to call and give us the tickets." - Jerry "You stubborn, stupid, silly man!" - Kramer
- "Hey, great dip. You made this?" - Puddy "No, it's from the store." - Elaine "Oh. Hey, how come people don't have dip for dinner? Why is it only a snack, why can't it be a meal, you know? I don't understand stuff like that." - Puddy
- "Yeah, that's right." - Puddy
- "Alright, I gotta go home and get changed before the game. I'll be back, we'll make out." - Puddy

Oddities & Fun Facts

- The real Alec Berg was a writer for Seinfeld
- Gary Fogle was last seen in The Scofflaw (S6, E13)
- The Rangers and Devils did not play in the 1994-95 playoffs. The Rangers had defeated the Devils the year prior en route to winning the Stanley Cup.

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

This is one of my guilty pleasure favorite episodes. Puddy and that damn face paint gets me every time, especially when he screams at the poor priest. All of the thank you stuff was really fun too and I love the Gary Fogel payoff. Season six has been great about tying random loose ends all together. Kramer was on point too with all the monkey stuff and his constant prodding of Jerry to get his shit together. I have seen this one thousands of times and could watch it thousands more. Give me more Puddy. NOW! Final Grade: 9/10

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