Seinfeld: The Series Rewatch - "The Fatigues" (S8, E6)

JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.

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Best Character

Frank. Costanza. He was awesome as always here and it started with his mocking of his son's wardrobe choices. Then he delivered an epic war story, bashed his wife's cooking and rose like a phoenix... from Arizona. Frank literally hits 1.000 in every episode he is in. What a national treasure. Shout out to the K-Men too as both were quite funny throughout.

Best Storyline

It has to be the Rise and Fall of Frank. The mentor stuff was funny thanks to yeoman's work from Kenny Bania and George's mischief but Frank and Kramer always slay it together and this was no exception.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

Should you let a mentor control every aspect of your life? If you are a fucking train wreck, yes, yes you should. Should that mentor be Cynthia? Absolutely not.

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

Abby needed a leader. Not a man child. She deserved so much better than what she got from Cynthia, Jerry and George. Find your mentor, Abby, and soar. Rise! Like a phoenix! From Arizona! Relationship Grade: Ovaltine/Roundtine

What Worked:

I loved the callback to Brandt Leland; Jerry and George trying to figure out the mentor/protege relationship and George having lied on his resume; Jerry gushing over the Bob Sacamano party!; Elaine hanging up on Jerry during the firing; Jerry calling George "Copernicus" always busts me up; Lomez being an old school Orthodox Jew and the event being held at the Knights of Columbus; Cynthia dating Bania!; Frank shitting on George's sweatsuit and then storming out when Kramer asks about help cooking; George telling the Doctor he is handsome; "Eat, eat, you're skin and bones"; Jerry burying Bania to Abby; The reader for the book on tape having George's voice was brilliant; Frank's war story is epic as is him finally flipping out on Estelle's cooking; George's plot to get Abby to read the Risk Management booked genius; Frank's phoenix line is one of my all time favorites and him tipping over the table was great; George deadpan reading the Ovaltine routine at the board meeting was a perfect capper

What Didn't Work

Eddie randomly dropping that he is Jewish just in time to be invited to the Jewish Singles Night just so Frank could see him choke felt forced and is the kind of story plot point that would have been more seamless in past seasons; Cynthia has very poor management skills and I feel we didn't explore her obvious manipulation of Abby quite thoroughly enough

Key Character Debuts

- Abby
- Eddie Sherman
- Cynthia

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

- "Risk management?" - Jerry "Yeah. Steinbrenner wants everyone in the front office to give a lecture in their area of business expertise." - George "Well what makes them think you're a risk management expert?" - Jerry "I guess it's on my resume." - George
- "He's writing copy?" - Jerry "Well it can't be any worse than the pointless drivel we normally churn out." - Elaine
- "Hey, Jerry!! How's it going?! You gonna join us for dinner? The duck here's the best. The best, Jerry." - Bania
- "Yeah. I had to spend two hours at dinner last night with that specimen." - Jerry "What did you have?" - George "Chicken, how could she look up to a person who voluntarily spends time with Banya?" - Jerry "Marsala?" - George "Piccata, if anything I should be dating a mentor and Banya should be setting pins in a bowling alley." - Jerry
- "What are you wearing, an athletic sweat suit?" - Frank
- "I got three kitchens going. I got brisket going at Newman's, I got kugel working at Mrs. Zamfino's, this is kreplach." - Kramer
- "The recipe was for four to six people; I had to multiply for a hundred and eighty-three people. I guess I got confused." - Kramer "It tastes like dirt." - Jerry "Well I also dropped it on the way over. Look I'm in trouble, I got no skills. I can't peel, I can't chop, I can't grate. I can't mince! I got no sense of flavor, obviously. You know, I gotta talk to Frank." - Kramer
- "I went too far. I over seasoned it. Men were keeling over all around me. I can still hear the retching, the screaming. I sent sixteen of my own men to the latrines that night. They were just boys." - Frank "Frank, you were a boy too. And it was war. It was a crazy time for everyone." - Kramer "Tell that to Bobby Colby. All that kid wanted to do was go home. Well he went home alright, with a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet. Had to
sit him on a cork the eighteen-hour flight home!" - Frank
- "Your meatloaf is mushy, your salmon croquettes are oily and your eggplant parmesan is a disgrace to this house!" - Frank "Well that's too bad, because I'm the only one who cooks around here!" - Estelle "Not any more! Gimme that spatula! I'm back, baby! - Frank
- "Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it round tine. That's gold, Jerry! Gold!" - Kenny
- "No breaks. I fell reborn, I'm like a Phoenix rising from Arizona." - Frank

Oddities & Fun Facts

- Jerry mentions that his friend used to work at Brandt Leland, a callback to Kramer's brief career in The Bizarro Jerry (S8, E3)

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

This episode held up way better than I expected. I think the name is misleading because you only remember the Eddie Sherman stuff, which was fine but not too memorable overall. However, everything to do with Frank, Kramer and the rise of the phoenix was tremendous. There were tons of laughs sprinkled throughout and lots of memorable lines and moments as well. By the end of the episode you almost forget the tremendous war story he told earlier on! George's quest to learn about risk management and all of the Bania/mentor stuff was good too, especially everyone just ragging on Bania. As I mentioned above, some of the tie-ins felt forced and it knocked this down a notch for me, but there is plenty here to like and was a much more memorable episode than you may recall it to be. Final Grade: 8/10

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