Seinfeld: The Series Rewatch - "The Keys" (S3, E22)

JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.

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Best Character

I have to go Kramer here. He was the straw that stirred the drink and him being stripped of his keys was the whole crux of the episode. He had some good, quick hitting scenes that included some good lines and some funny sight gags. Jerry was pretty good here too as he oscillated between being pissed off and sad.

Best Storyline

The keys. It was simple. It was relatable. And it made perfect sense that Kramer would look at it as such a radical sign to change his life that he would move across country. It also led to some funny scenes with Kramer hitchhiking as well as some classic lines throughout the episode. The payoff at the end with everyone taking back their keys and being confused was really funny.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

Should Jerry have taken his keys back from Kramer? Especially in front of two random broads? It seemed like an overreaction to being cock blocked. I know Kramer can be annoying, but that didn't feel like the time to air the dirty laundry and blow up both spots. Also, should George let Jerry into Elaine's apartment to get his keys? Why can't he just go in and get them himself? If only they had cell phones...

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

Kramer and California. A match made in Heaven. He was made to live alone, roam the streets of Hollywood and chase his dream while becoming and idol to hippies, banging truckers and driving semis. And the roller blades? And Murphy Brown? A beautiful marriage. Relationship Grade: 10/10

What Worked

All of the opening scenes with Kramer getting in Jerry's space were really good as was Elaine inadvertently rubbing it in Kramer's face that she has the keys now; Kramer was fantastic explaining to Jerry and George how reliant he had become on the keys and Jerry's life; I liked the whole key trading and swapping, led a nice thread throughout the episode; Newman is such a tremendous pussy; All of Jerry's fretting in the past pays off here as he constantly relives and justifies taking the keys; I liked Jerry getting pissy over George and Elaine mumbling on three separate occasions; Elaine catching George and Jerry reading the script was well done; Kramer on Murphy Brown was great and fit the hot running joke about Murphy always having new secretaries.

What Didn't Work

Why would Elaine have George's keys when it is usually hinted that they aren't really friends and only hang out through Jerry; Kramer was a bit of an asshole when giving George tough love because he was down on himself; Jerry's pink shirt and matching sneakers is quite the combo.

Key Character Debuts

Steven Snell

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

- "I broke the covenant of the keys!" - Kramer
- "I don't want the keys back! No, I'm glad the way things turned out. I was clingin' to those keys, man! Like a branch on the banks of a raging river. And now I have let go. And I'm free...to go with the current. To float. And I thank you." - Kramer
- "Do you ever yearn?" - Kramer "Yearn? Do I yearn?" - George "I yearn." - Kramer "You yearn." - George "Oh, yes. Yes, I yearn. Often, I...I sit...and yearn. Have you yearned?" - Kramer "Well, not recently. I craved. I crave all the time, constant craving...but I haven't yearned." - George
- George and Kramer reference back to "These pretzels are making me thirsty"
- "You're not really gonna go to California, are you?"- George "Up here...I'm already gone." - Kramer
- "Listen, Tiny. I wanna know where Kramer is and wanna know now!" - Jerry
- "About five years ago. I was going down this very road. Same time of day, going about the same speed I'm going now...there was a rock in the road. Couldn't have been more than a pebble. Never really saw it! Lost control of the bike, went flyin' about a hundred feet - came down right on my head. Cracked it wide open! Blood and stuff was just splattered all over the road, there...I broke every bone in my face. Hey, you know, when they found me, my eyes were hanging out of their sockets? Yeah, they pronounced me dead at the scene. I was in a coma for...well, they told me about a year...said I'd be a vegetable for life. Yeah, but I showed 'em. Ever since then I always wear a helmet! Lean!" - Biker "Leaning!" - Kramer
- "Hey, Kramer - have you ever killed a man?" - Hippie "What do you think, junior? You think these hands have been soakin' in Ivory liquid?" - Kramer
- "What do they look like?" - George "They look like keys, George. They look exactly like keys." - Jerry
- Elaine wrote a script for an episode of Murphy Brown

Oddities & Fun Facts

- Jerry calls Kramer's drunk mother on the phone
- We get some foreshadowing about the difficulties and money involved with writing sitcoms

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

Season three ends with a cliffhanger as Kramer gets upset at Jerry and decides to change his life with a move to the West Coast. While I enjoyed parts of this, it clearly solely existed to set up the opener of season four and to give us a reason to come back in the fall to see what goes down with the K-Man. Season three has been pretty awesome to watch, with some real all time classics blended into a whole lot of very strong episodes. We did limp a bit towards the end, but it was already quite clear that this show was going to be an All Star Hall of Fame level series if given the chance to live on. The actors all really got to know their characters during this season and also became very comfortable interacting with each other and building some impeccable chemistry. This was a solid finale and leaves me excited to see where things head in season four. Final Grade: 6/10

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