Seinfeld: The Series Rewatch - "The Library" (S3, E4)

JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.

librarycop

Best Character

Lt. Bookman, hands down. Amazing performance, memorable and show stealing and easily the best guest run to date. Jerry agrees since he was cracking up throughout the scenes. A library cop named Bookman? That's like an ice cream man named cone!

Best Storyline

It has to be the George/Heyman story because that was the lifeblood that kept this episode running smoothly. Jerry's feud with Bookman and Kramer's secret affair were great as well, but George weaving in and out of the episode while trying to resolve his open gym class wound was the true pacer of the show. The flashbacks were great and Heyman was the quintessential dickhead gym teacher that we all had to deal with at one point in our lives. I also loved that the book story was paid off along with this one, as George lost the book thanks to Heyman, who still had the book 20 years later! Fantastic storytelling and vintage Seinfeld.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

Should George have offered to pay the library for losing Jerry's book? I understand he was coming out of a very traumatic experience with Heyman on the library steps, but he did lose the book and cause Jerry all the problems with Bookman. He at least could have made the offer.

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

Kramer has been on a hot streak with the ladies, from his jungle romance with Elaine's roommate to his steamy affair with the unassuming librarian, he is really taking advantage of bachelorhood. They really seemed to dig each other, to the point that she risked her job and the wrath of Bookman just to sneak in some Afternoon Delight. I enjoyed them together, especially their let loose moment inside the closed library. HELLO! Relationship Grade: 6/10

What Worked

The premise is relatable and perfect Seinfeld; Kramer's amazement over Bookman's name and job was what everyone else had to be thinking; BOOKMAN, a truly amazing performance; The five Chinese brothers, Funny Boy, Joy Boy; Kramer banging the librarian, who is frightened of Bookman, was a nice twist to complement the main story; Jerry tracking down his old girlfriend in his quest to hunt the book down, and in a nice touch his memories were slightly off, something we can all relate to; The flashback scenes were a nice touch too, as they were quick and well executed; Heyman locking George in an atomic wedgie in front of the library is as Costanza as it gets; The way the book story collided with the Heyman hunt was perfectly executed

What Didn't Work

The Elaine story felt a bit forced in, but it was pretty brief and it may have just been a victim of the greatness of the Bookman awesomeness; Bizarro Lippman sucked; Not much else to complain about here

Key Character Debuts

Lt. Bookman

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

- "You know I never got a library card? Bunch of cheapskates in there anyway." - Kramer
- "The Dewey Decimal System, what a scam that was!" - Kramer
- "The library investigator's name is Bookman? That's amazing. It's like an ice cream man named cone!" - Kramer
- "I don't understand lunch, I know nothing about lunch." - George
- "Remember his teeth? Like they were from an exhumed corpse." - Jerry "Like little baked beans" - George
- "What do girls do?" - Jerry "We just tease someone until they develop an eating disorder." - Elaine
- "I remember when the librarian was a much older woman. Kindly, discreet, unattractive. We didn't know anything about her private life. We didn't want to know anything about her private life. She didn't have a privatee life. When you're thinking about that, think about this: the library closes at 5pm, no exceptions. This is your final warning. Got that, kewpie-doll?" - Bookman
- "He smelt like the locker room after that game against the Rascals..." - George "That was double overtime." - Jerry
- "Hard feelings? What do you now about hard feelings? Ever have a man die in your arms? Ever kill somebody?" - Bookman
Every other single Lt. Bookman quote

Oddities & Fun Facts

- Jerry & George went to JFK High School together
- Kramer has to walk to the coffee shop to let Jerry know that Bookman is waiting at his apartment

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

Easily one of my favorite episodes and as Jordan mentioned below, likely the best to date for the show. The episode just flew by and I could barely keep up with my notes and to me that is one of the hallmarks as a classic. It felt like it was ten minutes long and could have gone on longer without issue. Bookman was phenomenal and he alone could have made this a winner, but factor in George's quest for Heyman and Kramer's secret romance and we have a pantheon episode. It was great to see them quickly snap out of the early season malaise to deliver here. How about that funny boy? Final Grade: 9/10

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