JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.
Best Character
I think Steinbrenner actually stood out the most this week. He was on point in every scene and blended reality and absurdity so beautifully. Like, it is completely understandable that this man would sit in someone else's office for hours just hoping for help to figure out the name of a song. Him leading the grandkids under the desk during the bomb threat was really funny and the "empty calories and male curiosity" is a great line.
Best Storyline
I will go with the nap storyline as it consistently brought the most laughs, mainly thanks to Steinbrenner. It is also peak George.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
If you were the owner of the New York Yankees and somebody called in multiple bomb threats, wouldn't you ask the police to help determine who exactly was making the calls? Yes, yes you would.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
Kitzmiller is a stupid name. Relationship Grade: 0/10
What Worked:
The manslaughter conversation was funny, I like when the cold open is a non sequitur chat; Kramer's thoughts on Damien were awesome; I enjoyed George's sudden realization that he could sleep under his desk; "The Lumbar Yard"; "Wednesday's Walk in the Park with Hal"; "A roll in the supportive hay"; Kramer not being able to remember Hal's last name is great; Kramer having a sand bed is tremendous; Steinbrenner needing George to help him remember a song name is so absurdly wonderful; The conversation between the father and son looking into the East River was fantastic; Kramer's "Norfolk has more gross tonnage" line is one of my all time favorites; The first glimpse of Jerry's new cabinets was well done; I will always pop for a "Who is this?" and then Steinbrenner directing his family under the desk for the bomb threat was a well executed payoff; Steinbrenner then crediting George for having ESP was a good twist; Kramer thinking he was on the wrong floor (again) when he saw the cabinets; Steinbrenner's "February" comments were good; "Yeah this is terrorist bomber"; Conrad becoming a douchebag thanks to his relationship with Jerry was good stuff; "He just sunk like a stone"; Elaine's "I'll meet you at the coffee shop" was a fun meta comment
What Didn't Work
Make a fucking decision Conrad! How did you survive as a contractor this long?; Why is Hal buying Elaine a mattress so quickly? The balls on this guy; If Conrad was any good, should it have taken him the entire night to add these compartments to the desk?; Wouldn't the police trace Jerry's phone number for the bomb threat? That is a big leap; Also, there is no way Jerry's head is only 7 5/8; George sleeping in the cabinets always seemed a bit too much for me
Key Character Debuts
- Conrad
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Can you grab a nap at work." - Jerry "Not with that big glass window looking out into the hall. I'd love a good nap. That's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning." - George
- "Hey, Kramer, listen, you've seen the Omen right? What exactly was that kid?" - Elaine "Who, Damien? Nothing, just a mischievous, rambunctious kid." - Kramer
- "Oh those places have the stupidest names. Like, uh, "Back in ", or "Good Vertibrations"." - Elaine "Not this one. It's called the "Lumbar Yard"." - Hal
- "Jerry, do you want a flat edge on this molding or do you want me to bevel it?" - Conrad "I'll tell you what I would like you to do with it." - Jerry "Conrad, is it?" - George "Conrad, Connie, or Con, whatever you prefer." - Conrad
- "Well I had been swimming for three hours and I was in a real grove so I decided to keep going. But at ten they start the aquasonics Thirty-five geriatrics throwing elbows. It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine." - Kramer "How long did that last?" - Jerry "A half hour then diving class started. Well… that got a little messy. I gotta find a new place to swim 'cause that pool can't hold me, Jerry." - Kramer
- "My old one sprung a leak." - Kramer "You have a water bed?" - Elaine "Sand! It's like sleeping on the beach." - Kramer
- "Um, I'm stuck on this song yesterday. I can't seem to get it out of my head. I don't know the name of that. "She's a heart breaker, love taker... Oh. Oh" ...very catchy. You know what? I can't stay awake for that guy. What is this? People? Um, the most beautiful people people. Ally Selica, Nothing wrong with that uh?" - Steinbrenner
- "Over there, that's Brooklyn . That's where Spike Lee lives." - Father "Hey, there's a man swimming in the water." - Son "Naw, that's probably just a dead body son. You see when the mob kills someone they through the body in the river." - Father
- "You're swimming in the East River? The most heavily trafficked overly contaminated waterway on the eastern seaboard?" - Jerry "Technically Norfolk has more gross tonnage." - Kramer
- "Guess who he put in charge of Fitted Hat Day? Me." - George "Hey look at you." - Jerry Yeah, look at me. Now I GOTTA FIGURE OUT THE HAT SIZES OF 59,000 DIFFERENT PEOPLE!! WHAT IF A PINHEAD SHOWS UP. I GOTTA BE ON TOP OF THAT." - George "No knock offs. I want the ones like the real players wear." - Jerry "KNOCK OFFS. I NOT GOING TO DO IT! AND YOU'RE GOING TO CALL STEINBRENNER BACK AND CANCEL THE WHOLE THING." - George "Could you at least get a hat for me?" - Jerry "FINE? WHAT SIZE?" - George "Seven and five eighths" - Jerry "SEVEN AND FIVE EIGHTHS!!" - George "Why are you shouting?" - Jerry "I DON'T KNOW. It's this place. I'm very uncomfortable here." - George
- "Four hours in this chop and I'm a full inch taller... Giddy up." - Kramer
- "What's that figure ahead? Is that anything? Okay, let's check the desk. That's where I heard the ticking. Search each one of those drawers starting with the top one. So, empty calories and male curiosity, eh, Georgie?" - Steinbrenner
Oddities & Fun Facts
- According to commentary by one of the writers, this idea came from the fact that a few of his friends would in fact take naps underneath their desks.
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
This one definitely held up better than I expected it too but still was a notch below the recent stretch we have watched. There were some more glaring plot holes than normal and not everything clicked. Getting a large dose of Steinbrenner carried the load but Hal and Conrad were soft guest stars and while the swimming stuff was funny it felt like a waste of Kramer. I did think there were lots of fun random conversations sprinkled throughout here, and that is when Seinfeld is at its best: deep discussions exploring the mundane. For most sitcoms this is a winner but on the Seinfeld curve, it ends up being a bit lacking in the end. Final Grade: 6/10
Best Character
I think Steinbrenner actually stood out the most this week. He was on point in every scene and blended reality and absurdity so beautifully. Like, it is completely understandable that this man would sit in someone else's office for hours just hoping for help to figure out the name of a song. Him leading the grandkids under the desk during the bomb threat was really funny and the "empty calories and male curiosity" is a great line.
Best Storyline
I will go with the nap storyline as it consistently brought the most laughs, mainly thanks to Steinbrenner. It is also peak George.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
If you were the owner of the New York Yankees and somebody called in multiple bomb threats, wouldn't you ask the police to help determine who exactly was making the calls? Yes, yes you would.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
Kitzmiller is a stupid name. Relationship Grade: 0/10
What Worked:
The manslaughter conversation was funny, I like when the cold open is a non sequitur chat; Kramer's thoughts on Damien were awesome; I enjoyed George's sudden realization that he could sleep under his desk; "The Lumbar Yard"; "Wednesday's Walk in the Park with Hal"; "A roll in the supportive hay"; Kramer not being able to remember Hal's last name is great; Kramer having a sand bed is tremendous; Steinbrenner needing George to help him remember a song name is so absurdly wonderful; The conversation between the father and son looking into the East River was fantastic; Kramer's "Norfolk has more gross tonnage" line is one of my all time favorites; The first glimpse of Jerry's new cabinets was well done; I will always pop for a "Who is this?" and then Steinbrenner directing his family under the desk for the bomb threat was a well executed payoff; Steinbrenner then crediting George for having ESP was a good twist; Kramer thinking he was on the wrong floor (again) when he saw the cabinets; Steinbrenner's "February" comments were good; "Yeah this is terrorist bomber"; Conrad becoming a douchebag thanks to his relationship with Jerry was good stuff; "He just sunk like a stone"; Elaine's "I'll meet you at the coffee shop" was a fun meta comment
What Didn't Work
Make a fucking decision Conrad! How did you survive as a contractor this long?; Why is Hal buying Elaine a mattress so quickly? The balls on this guy; If Conrad was any good, should it have taken him the entire night to add these compartments to the desk?; Wouldn't the police trace Jerry's phone number for the bomb threat? That is a big leap; Also, there is no way Jerry's head is only 7 5/8; George sleeping in the cabinets always seemed a bit too much for me
Key Character Debuts
- Conrad
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Can you grab a nap at work." - Jerry "Not with that big glass window looking out into the hall. I'd love a good nap. That's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning." - George
- "Hey, Kramer, listen, you've seen the Omen right? What exactly was that kid?" - Elaine "Who, Damien? Nothing, just a mischievous, rambunctious kid." - Kramer
- "Oh those places have the stupidest names. Like, uh, "Back in ", or "Good Vertibrations"." - Elaine "Not this one. It's called the "Lumbar Yard"." - Hal
- "Jerry, do you want a flat edge on this molding or do you want me to bevel it?" - Conrad "I'll tell you what I would like you to do with it." - Jerry "Conrad, is it?" - George "Conrad, Connie, or Con, whatever you prefer." - Conrad
- "Well I had been swimming for three hours and I was in a real grove so I decided to keep going. But at ten they start the aquasonics Thirty-five geriatrics throwing elbows. It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine." - Kramer "How long did that last?" - Jerry "A half hour then diving class started. Well… that got a little messy. I gotta find a new place to swim 'cause that pool can't hold me, Jerry." - Kramer
- "My old one sprung a leak." - Kramer "You have a water bed?" - Elaine "Sand! It's like sleeping on the beach." - Kramer
- "Um, I'm stuck on this song yesterday. I can't seem to get it out of my head. I don't know the name of that. "She's a heart breaker, love taker... Oh. Oh" ...very catchy. You know what? I can't stay awake for that guy. What is this? People? Um, the most beautiful people people. Ally Selica, Nothing wrong with that uh?" - Steinbrenner
- "Over there, that's Brooklyn . That's where Spike Lee lives." - Father "Hey, there's a man swimming in the water." - Son "Naw, that's probably just a dead body son. You see when the mob kills someone they through the body in the river." - Father
- "You're swimming in the East River? The most heavily trafficked overly contaminated waterway on the eastern seaboard?" - Jerry "Technically Norfolk has more gross tonnage." - Kramer
- "Guess who he put in charge of Fitted Hat Day? Me." - George "Hey look at you." - Jerry Yeah, look at me. Now I GOTTA FIGURE OUT THE HAT SIZES OF 59,000 DIFFERENT PEOPLE!! WHAT IF A PINHEAD SHOWS UP. I GOTTA BE ON TOP OF THAT." - George "No knock offs. I want the ones like the real players wear." - Jerry "KNOCK OFFS. I NOT GOING TO DO IT! AND YOU'RE GOING TO CALL STEINBRENNER BACK AND CANCEL THE WHOLE THING." - George "Could you at least get a hat for me?" - Jerry "FINE? WHAT SIZE?" - George "Seven and five eighths" - Jerry "SEVEN AND FIVE EIGHTHS!!" - George "Why are you shouting?" - Jerry "I DON'T KNOW. It's this place. I'm very uncomfortable here." - George
- "Four hours in this chop and I'm a full inch taller... Giddy up." - Kramer
- "What's that figure ahead? Is that anything? Okay, let's check the desk. That's where I heard the ticking. Search each one of those drawers starting with the top one. So, empty calories and male curiosity, eh, Georgie?" - Steinbrenner
Oddities & Fun Facts
- According to commentary by one of the writers, this idea came from the fact that a few of his friends would in fact take naps underneath their desks.
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
This one definitely held up better than I expected it too but still was a notch below the recent stretch we have watched. There were some more glaring plot holes than normal and not everything clicked. Getting a large dose of Steinbrenner carried the load but Hal and Conrad were soft guest stars and while the swimming stuff was funny it felt like a waste of Kramer. I did think there were lots of fun random conversations sprinkled throughout here, and that is when Seinfeld is at its best: deep discussions exploring the mundane. For most sitcoms this is a winner but on the Seinfeld curve, it ends up being a bit lacking in the end. Final Grade: 6/10
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