JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.
Best Character
This was an interesting episode in that I really enjoyed the whole thing but nobody jumped off the screen and stole the show. They really spread the wealth here with all the main and ancillary characters getting some shine and great lines throughout. If I have to pick someone, I will go with George just for his annoyance with Lloyd Braun and dedication to the spasm scheme. Frank was a close second just for his inane ramblings that buttressed various scenes.
Best Storyline
I will go with the yogurt storyline just because it ate up much of the episode and crossed multiple characters in different ways. I also love that it affected New York's mayoral election and totally ruined a business along the way. Maybe you shouldn't have lied about the content of the yogurt, you fat fuck!
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
When will Mary take some damn responsibility for the failings of her family? She clearly has the mouth of a trucker but blames Jerry for her son's profanity. Then, her husband clearly was pedaling a product filled with lies and misinformation but wants to blame Jerry and urges her son to cuss out his hero to prove her point. And this was after she sat there like a dope while Matthew destroyed Jerry's cassette. No dilemma here. Mary sucks.
How much should we hold people responsible for cursing in front of our kids? I think if you create a yogurt that is so fudging good, you should know better than to let children walk free in your establishment. You want the cursing. You want people to be a free with their reactions as though they were in their bathtubs at home smearing said yogurt all over their ample bodies. We need to be allowed expression, free from social norms or little sugars.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
Lloyd Braun is a tricky fig. He clearly likes Elaine quite a bit, but because of eight pounds, he is turned off? And if he thought she was too chubby to bang, then why does he offer up her stupid idea to Dinkins? That is the kind of power move you only make to seal the deal. Unless he was planning on a second date until Dinkins was humiliated from the nametag debacle? Either way, Lloyd needs to get his shit together. Relationship Grade: 3/ghyahu...sorry, my arm spasmed... 3/10
What Worked:
The swearing barrage in this one was great, random, but great; Lloyd Braun is a tremendous passive aggressive douche; The fake arm spasm is so pure Costanza, nothing could ever be more Costanza; Kramer bluntly telling Jerry and Elaine they got fat was fantastic and then him continuing to call them derisive nicknames to pile on was even better; The Costanzas forever, Tommy Tune forever; George's spasm arm smashing Estelle always makes me laugh; Newman holding court at the yogurt shop is great; I enjoyed the issues Jerry had with Kramer dating the chemist due to the testing; Jerry screaming at Matthew as he tears up the tape was great; Lloyd's quest to disprove George's spasm is a bit creepy but also impressive in some ways; Elaine's name tag idea is so awfully bad and I love that it sinks Dinkins; It was interesting seeing someone actually call George out on his lying for once and him actually banging his elbow and having problems was a nice touch; I have always enjoyed how the crew influenced the mayoral race to such a high degree and it wasn't done in an absurd way; Newman's anger and Matthew swearing at Jerry was the perfect way to wrap the episode up
What Didn't Work
How many scales does Jerry have in his apartment?; Jerry's ugly button down sure doesn't help him look slim; The way Kramer says "in-floo-ince" drives me nuts; Mary not seemingly give a shit about Matthew destroyed Jerry's tape is annoying; So we never found out if the yogurt maker was purposely lying or just didn't know there was fat in it; Mary basically parading Matthew up to Jerry to swear at him for his father's deceitful business is the low of the low, Mary is pretty terrible
Key Character Debuts
Lloyd Braun
Mary & Matthew
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Well, I tasted it at the one downtown. It's got a remarkable texture. You'd never know it was non-fat." - Kramer
- "I did this thing on the Ottoman Empire. Like, what was this? A whole empire based on putting your feet up?" - Jerry
- "Oh, I was having lunch, and I bit down on the fork." - Elaine "Boy, it's hard to believe - with all that biting experience - a person could still make a mistake like that." - Jerry
- "You don't eat Oreos? The way you break them open? You're practically having sex with them." - Kramer
- "Maybe your yogurt isn't so non-fat." - Jerry "Oh, guess again, Tubby!" - Kramer
- "Hey, I'll tell you what, Chubs, if that yogurt has fat in it, I will put myself on an all-yogurt diet for a week." - Kramer "Well, let's start the insanity." - Jerry "Giddy up!" - Kramer
- "Tommy Tune is a very good dancer. You ever see Tommy Tune dancing?" - Frank "No." - George "I like tap dancing." - Estelle "Tap dancing. Anyone can tap dance. It's all in those shoes." - Frank
- "Tommy Tune is very tall. That helps. It makes him lankier." - Frank
- "Hey, Mayor Dinkins set this up for you. You know what kind of a doctor this must be if Dinkins knows him?" - Frank
- "Every word out of my son's mouth now is *beep*, *beep*, *beep*. You know what he said to me five minutes ago? Where's my *beep*ing cupcake?" - Mary
- "Well, I wouldn't hear of it. I said, "Nice try, granny!" And I sent her to the back of the line!" - Newman
- "Cause I'm on a special diet, and the doctor said I can't have any fat." - Elaine
- "It changes the molecules." - Kramer "Oh, you don't know what you're talking about." - Jerry "Hey, fatso! I got a 90 in biology." - Kramer "You call me fatso one more time; you're going to be walking back." - Jerry
- "All right, well, then what if we become a couple, George? Every time we see you you're going to be walking around going like this? Even you can't keep that up." - Elaine "No, I believe he can." - Elaine
- "No, but I saw the look on his face when he put his arm around me. And then we went to his apartment, and I sat on one of his chairs and it broke. And he says, "Boy, you're a lot of woman!"" - Elaine
- "May I suggest the possibility that you're faking?" - Doctor "Faking? What makes you think that I have time to see doctors, take X-rays, make appointments, when there's absolutely nothing wrong with me? What kind of a person would do a thing like that?" - George "I don't know what kind of a person would do something like
that. Obviously a very sick person. A very immature person. A person who has no regard for wasting other people's valuable time. Good-bye." - Doctor
Oddities & Fun Facts
- Two versions of this episode were filmed, one based around Giuliani and one based around Dinkins; When Giuliani won the election, that version was used
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
There is a lot to like here as season five continues to deliver the goods. It wasn't a standout, Hall of Fame effort by any means, but it was damn good. The swearing was unique and good for some real laughs and the non-fat yogurt craze was timely to the early 90s. I also loved how they affected the race but did it in a way that wasn't too crazy or out there, like some sitcoms may have done. That is what keeps Seinfeld a notch above the field. Kramer's fat shaming and George's spasms were great show long bits and Lloyd Braun always brings the best out of the Costanzas. It was a great use of the community they have built up too by having Newman at the yogurt shop too. Plus, Tommy Tune! Until next time, chubs, thanks for stopping by! Final Grade: 7/10
Best Character
This was an interesting episode in that I really enjoyed the whole thing but nobody jumped off the screen and stole the show. They really spread the wealth here with all the main and ancillary characters getting some shine and great lines throughout. If I have to pick someone, I will go with George just for his annoyance with Lloyd Braun and dedication to the spasm scheme. Frank was a close second just for his inane ramblings that buttressed various scenes.
Best Storyline
I will go with the yogurt storyline just because it ate up much of the episode and crossed multiple characters in different ways. I also love that it affected New York's mayoral election and totally ruined a business along the way. Maybe you shouldn't have lied about the content of the yogurt, you fat fuck!
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
When will Mary take some damn responsibility for the failings of her family? She clearly has the mouth of a trucker but blames Jerry for her son's profanity. Then, her husband clearly was pedaling a product filled with lies and misinformation but wants to blame Jerry and urges her son to cuss out his hero to prove her point. And this was after she sat there like a dope while Matthew destroyed Jerry's cassette. No dilemma here. Mary sucks.
How much should we hold people responsible for cursing in front of our kids? I think if you create a yogurt that is so fudging good, you should know better than to let children walk free in your establishment. You want the cursing. You want people to be a free with their reactions as though they were in their bathtubs at home smearing said yogurt all over their ample bodies. We need to be allowed expression, free from social norms or little sugars.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
Lloyd Braun is a tricky fig. He clearly likes Elaine quite a bit, but because of eight pounds, he is turned off? And if he thought she was too chubby to bang, then why does he offer up her stupid idea to Dinkins? That is the kind of power move you only make to seal the deal. Unless he was planning on a second date until Dinkins was humiliated from the nametag debacle? Either way, Lloyd needs to get his shit together. Relationship Grade: 3/ghyahu...sorry, my arm spasmed... 3/10
What Worked:
The swearing barrage in this one was great, random, but great; Lloyd Braun is a tremendous passive aggressive douche; The fake arm spasm is so pure Costanza, nothing could ever be more Costanza; Kramer bluntly telling Jerry and Elaine they got fat was fantastic and then him continuing to call them derisive nicknames to pile on was even better; The Costanzas forever, Tommy Tune forever; George's spasm arm smashing Estelle always makes me laugh; Newman holding court at the yogurt shop is great; I enjoyed the issues Jerry had with Kramer dating the chemist due to the testing; Jerry screaming at Matthew as he tears up the tape was great; Lloyd's quest to disprove George's spasm is a bit creepy but also impressive in some ways; Elaine's name tag idea is so awfully bad and I love that it sinks Dinkins; It was interesting seeing someone actually call George out on his lying for once and him actually banging his elbow and having problems was a nice touch; I have always enjoyed how the crew influenced the mayoral race to such a high degree and it wasn't done in an absurd way; Newman's anger and Matthew swearing at Jerry was the perfect way to wrap the episode up
What Didn't Work
How many scales does Jerry have in his apartment?; Jerry's ugly button down sure doesn't help him look slim; The way Kramer says "in-floo-ince" drives me nuts; Mary not seemingly give a shit about Matthew destroyed Jerry's tape is annoying; So we never found out if the yogurt maker was purposely lying or just didn't know there was fat in it; Mary basically parading Matthew up to Jerry to swear at him for his father's deceitful business is the low of the low, Mary is pretty terrible
Key Character Debuts
Lloyd Braun
Mary & Matthew
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Well, I tasted it at the one downtown. It's got a remarkable texture. You'd never know it was non-fat." - Kramer
- "I did this thing on the Ottoman Empire. Like, what was this? A whole empire based on putting your feet up?" - Jerry
- "Oh, I was having lunch, and I bit down on the fork." - Elaine "Boy, it's hard to believe - with all that biting experience - a person could still make a mistake like that." - Jerry
- "You don't eat Oreos? The way you break them open? You're practically having sex with them." - Kramer
- "Maybe your yogurt isn't so non-fat." - Jerry "Oh, guess again, Tubby!" - Kramer
- "Hey, I'll tell you what, Chubs, if that yogurt has fat in it, I will put myself on an all-yogurt diet for a week." - Kramer "Well, let's start the insanity." - Jerry "Giddy up!" - Kramer
- "Tommy Tune is a very good dancer. You ever see Tommy Tune dancing?" - Frank "No." - George "I like tap dancing." - Estelle "Tap dancing. Anyone can tap dance. It's all in those shoes." - Frank
- "Tommy Tune is very tall. That helps. It makes him lankier." - Frank
- "Hey, Mayor Dinkins set this up for you. You know what kind of a doctor this must be if Dinkins knows him?" - Frank
- "Every word out of my son's mouth now is *beep*, *beep*, *beep*. You know what he said to me five minutes ago? Where's my *beep*ing cupcake?" - Mary
- "Well, I wouldn't hear of it. I said, "Nice try, granny!" And I sent her to the back of the line!" - Newman
- "Cause I'm on a special diet, and the doctor said I can't have any fat." - Elaine
- "It changes the molecules." - Kramer "Oh, you don't know what you're talking about." - Jerry "Hey, fatso! I got a 90 in biology." - Kramer "You call me fatso one more time; you're going to be walking back." - Jerry
- "All right, well, then what if we become a couple, George? Every time we see you you're going to be walking around going like this? Even you can't keep that up." - Elaine "No, I believe he can." - Elaine
- "No, but I saw the look on his face when he put his arm around me. And then we went to his apartment, and I sat on one of his chairs and it broke. And he says, "Boy, you're a lot of woman!"" - Elaine
- "May I suggest the possibility that you're faking?" - Doctor "Faking? What makes you think that I have time to see doctors, take X-rays, make appointments, when there's absolutely nothing wrong with me? What kind of a person would do a thing like that?" - George "I don't know what kind of a person would do something like
that. Obviously a very sick person. A very immature person. A person who has no regard for wasting other people's valuable time. Good-bye." - Doctor
Oddities & Fun Facts
- Two versions of this episode were filmed, one based around Giuliani and one based around Dinkins; When Giuliani won the election, that version was used
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
There is a lot to like here as season five continues to deliver the goods. It wasn't a standout, Hall of Fame effort by any means, but it was damn good. The swearing was unique and good for some real laughs and the non-fat yogurt craze was timely to the early 90s. I also loved how they affected the race but did it in a way that wasn't too crazy or out there, like some sitcoms may have done. That is what keeps Seinfeld a notch above the field. Kramer's fat shaming and George's spasms were great show long bits and Lloyd Braun always brings the best out of the Costanzas. It was a great use of the community they have built up too by having Newman at the yogurt shop too. Plus, Tommy Tune! Until next time, chubs, thanks for stopping by! Final Grade: 7/10
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