Seinfeld: The Series Rewatch - "The Phone Message" (S2, E7)

JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.

seinfeld-season-2-4-the-phone-message-gretchen-german

Best Character

George is easily the choice here. The whole answering machine arc was fantastic, from his initial dejection to his anger at Carol and his explosion via message to his planning and execution of the plan, it was all top notch. He has really taken over the show as of late. Jerry was really good here too, from his sparring with Donna to his gig as George's heavy, he executed well throughout.

Best Storyline

George's battle with the answering machine takes the cake. His description of his escalating and belligerent messages and the entire scene at the apartment was really well done, fast paced and locked in. I loved how Jerry and George had to improv and think on their feet multiple times as it demonstrated how in tune they were with each other. The payoff was classic Seinfeld too, with Carol not even caring after Jerry and George went through all the nerves and hassle of the plan.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

Were Jerry and George right in switching out the answering machine tape? Probably not, but I get it. A few times now, things could have been easily resolved with a proactive approach, but that isn't how this crew rolls. Luckily for George, Carol has a good sense of humor. Also, should Jerry have let the pants commercial issue slide? I guess that all depends on how much he was into her. And it seems like he didn't like her THAT much.

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

After a decent absence, we finally get some on screen relationships. Heck, George even mentions the rarity of he and Jerry both having dates on same night. Jerry & Donna had nice chemistry early on, with some good banter and easy conversation, but things got ugly fast once the khakis commercial debate cropped up. Things got worse when Donna found out Jerry discussed their issues with his buddies. That scene made Donna pretty unlikeable and way demanding for a fairly new relationship. George and Carol were a bit more grounded and Carol proved herself to be pretty cool. She wanted to get it in, she vacations at the Hamptons and she loves jokes. Marry that woman. Relationship Grade: Jerry & Donna, 3/10; George & Carol, 7/10

What Worked

Jerry being unable to accept Donna's enjoyment of the khaki pants commercial is a great sign of the idiosyncrasies to come from him; George's relationship concerns as spelled out above were great; The continued chemistry building between Jerry, Elaine and George is great to see and their scene in the kitchen was really smooth and effective; George leaving the message is so cringe inducing that you want to laugh and cry at the same time; Jerry's banter with Donna is on point even after the initial fight; George accidentally botching Jerry's date by ratting him out; Tippy toe; The great improv outside and inside the apartment as Jerry and George worked their magic.

What Didn't Work

Jerry's purple shirt tucked into his jeans may be the worst fashion faux pas we have seen yet, which is saying something; Donna is funny early on but gets annoying fast and shows a real ugly side when she gets mad about Jerry discussing their date with her friends; By the end, Jerry & Donna felt shoehorned in and wasn't really necessary as George's plight easily could have filled up the whole episode; The show really needs more Kramer.

Key Character Debuts

N/A

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- George thinks chewing while on the phone makes you sound casual and not nervous
- George turns down upstairs invitation for coffee
- Jerry submarines a relationship over nonsense for the first time
- "Women don't want to see need. They want a take charge guy. A colonel, a kaiser, a czar!" - George
- "I don't know what your parents did to you." - Elaine
- Kramer pitches a comedy bit to Jerry for the first time
- "I am lactose intolerant. I have no patience for lactose. And I won't stand for it." - Jerry
- "I'd like to get one more shot at the coffee just so I can spit it in your face!" - George
- First mention of Frank Costanza wearing sneakers in the pool

Oddities & Fun Facts

- The entire storyline revolves around answering machine tapes

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

Much like The Busboy, I ended up enjoying this one much more than I expected to heading in. George was a one man show here and I was laughing out loud throughout the whole scene where he was describing his messages to Jerry. The apartment caper was really well played too, with some close calls and improv mixed in and capped with a nice payoff. Jerry is slowly transitioning to the acerbic Seinfeld we all love, with just a few hints of whiny Jerry still remaining. Kramer is criminally underused still but at least Elaine is getting more screen time, even if it wasn't evident here. At this point, you could argue this show should be called Costanza instead of Seinfeld. Final Grade: 6/10

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