Seinfeld: The Series Rewatch - "The Pie" (S5, E15)

JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.

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Best Character

Very tough choice this go around with all four delivering strong performances. Elaine had some good quick hit lines and lots of anger, which she excels at. George's manic suit pursuit was great and it all tying together and crumbling at the end was well done. Jerry was really good too, lots of wit and his delivery was spot on. But, I think I have to go with Kramer this time. I liked his storyline the least of all of them but I thought he nailed all his lines and had some real laugh out loud moments. He wins by a razor thin margin.

Best Storyline

Lots to pick from here, but I will go with the mannequin. It led to some fun jokes and random, funny moments all throughout, right down to the payoff with Ricky's return. The erotic pose and George seeing it naked were well done too.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

Should Jerry have just sucked it up and eaten the pizza? I mean, the urine and germs likely cooked off in the super hot pizza oven, but I guess it comes down to whether or not he has a future with Audrey. I think they were doomed from the minute she refused that pie, so I can't blame Jerry all the way. If it was someone he was really into, though, I would tell him to man up and eat Poppy's PeePee Pizza.

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

Kramer and Mannequin Elaine could have really been a hot item that ran roughshod over the Big Apple, but we don't get to follow it through. It would have been a real Weekend at Bernie's situation, but if anyone can bang an inanimate object and make it work, it is the K-Man. Oh, and Audrey sucks. Relationship Grade: Doublemint Threesome/10

What Worked:

George's excitement at the people mover idea was great, as was Elaine's advice for Jerry to dump Audrey; Kramer using the spatula to scratch his back always makes me chuckle; The saleswoman being bitchy to Elaine was good, especially the eye roll; George's French accent was great as was his getting a glimpse of the Elaine mannequin naked; The pie stuff is right in Jerry's wheelhouse; Poppy!; The hand washing stuff was perfect to happen to a neat freak like Jerome, and the open kitchen with Poppy kneading the dough was well done; George's suit scheme was brilliantly done, and again he is a tragic figure with the swooshing noise; Elaine's suspect list scene was funny and relatable; The erotic mannequin setup and George trying to hide the swooshing; The Doublemint gum line breaks me every time; Nice tie-in at the end with George refusing the pie and not getting the job; Kramer making out with the mannequin was funny

What Didn't Work

Audrey is super annoying immediately with her refusal to try the pie; The suit George is obsessed with is brutally awful; The Kramer itch storyline had some good one liners but overall was a fairly weak angle; The urine would have cooked off, don't be a bitch Jerome

Key Character Debuts

Poppy

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

- "Maybe she's diabetic." - George "No. She carries Entemanns doughnuts in her purse." - Jerry
- "I got a pebble." - Elaine "Boy, I never heard of that happening to a woman?" - Jerry "What the hell does that mean?" - Elaine
- "It's uncanny! It's like they chopped off your arms and legs, dipped you in plastic, and screwed you back all together, and stuck you on a pedestal. It's really quite exquisite." - Kramer
- "Wait a minute, Rinitze? Don't they have somme really cool suits in there?" - George "Real Boss!" - Kramer
- "What are you saying, that I'm not good enough for this hideous dress? Listen Natasha... I wouldn't be caught dead wearing your crummy little euro-trash rags."
- "You were full. So you gave a reason. You didn't just shake your head." - Jerry "No, I'm not a psycho." - Woman
- "Hey, Elaine scratch my back." - Kramer "No way!" - Elaine "Come on, one lap around." - Kramer "No." - Elaine "It will be a funky adventure." - Kramer
- "You know honey for an unadvertised sale, you're doing a lot of yapping about it." - George
- "Audrey, I got to be honest with you. I'm a very curious guy. It's my nature. I need to know things. Not tasting the apple pie the other day, I can't get past it. You obviously like pies. You carry doughnuts in your bag, you're not averse to pastry. Surely you could see how such a thing would prey on my mind." - Jerry
- "Even if you're not gonna soap up, at least pretend for my benefit. Turn the water on, do something." - Jerry "Yeah, just like I do." - George "You know a chef who doesn't wash is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help, he wants to get caught." - Jerry "Well, I think Poppie's got some problems. There's a whole other thing going on with Poppie." - George
- "Yeah. My lady friend down at Monks. You guys ought to see the way she works her nails across my back. Ohh! She's a maestro. The crisscross. The figure eight, strummin' the ol' banjo, and this wild, savage free-for-all where anything can happen." - Kramer
- "Is that Elaine mannequin still there?" - Kramer "Yeah. The last time I saw her, she was naked." - George "Yeah, and Poppie's got problems..." - Jerry
- "I hope you rot in that suit. I'm gonna get you for this. I don't know how, but I'm gonna get you. You are going to pay!" - Bob "Oh, I'll pay. Half-price. Arrivederci my fellow 40-short." - George
- "Yep. Sat down, had herself a piece of pie." - Kramer "Was it apple?" - Jerry "What else?" - Kramer
- "Well, I believe there's some legal precedent - Winchell vs. Mahoney" - Jerry
- "What do they want from Poppy?" - Audrey "Well, Poppy's a little sloppy." - Jerry
- Ricky the Mannequin Maker is a callback to The Cigar Store Indian (S5, E10)

Oddities & Fun Facts

- Audrey is portrayed by Suzanne Snyder, who also portrayed Eva in The Limo (S3, E19)

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

I laughed a lot in this one. For any other sitcom, this is probably a perfect score because there was tons to love. But on the Seinfeld Scale? It ranks in just below the truly great episodes. There were some slow spots but the dialogue was really crisp throughout and the mannequin storyline was brilliant. Audrey was unlikeable but we get introduced to Poppy, which is a nice win as well. In a juggernaut season like this one, this episode is a middle of the order, reliable bat that adds super depth to a hall of fame squad. Final Grade: 8/10

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