JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.
Best Character
I will give this to the whole Constanza Family. George was at his scheming best and Frank and Estelle came back on a mission to prove how epic they can be when united. From the tie argument to the questioning of the origins of Merlot to the hen sex to Firestorm, they brought the hot fire. Never change.
Best Storyline
The rye, far and away. It was a tremendous plot that almost worked but fell just short. Along with it comes Jerry mugging an old woman and Kramer feeding a horse processed spaghetti and meatballs until it shit all over the streets of Gotham. Hard to beat it.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
If you are a man of his 30s (or maybe 40s) and are just beginning to date a very attractive woman, should you tell her early on that you don't like to go down on women? Get your shit together, Johnny. And get a haircut too.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
The Rosses and the Costanzas for ever and ever, they shall be united for all of eternity. They can dine over rye and Merlot while watching Firestorm night after night, like a blissful Groundhog Day, and we should be lucky enough to witness just one of their evenings together. Relationship Grade: Going In Fresh/10
What Worked:
The sponge worthy callback was well done; The brilliant dance around cunnilingus talk is peak Seinfeld; The Price Club scene to open up the show proper is so great, "Lindsey olives" cracks me up every time; The Costanzas return with a bang with the tie argument; Frank's belt cinch when saying he is going to show the Rosses about taste is iconic Frank; Kramer's pratfall with the groceries is one of his best; Frank's deep dive into poultry and sex was amazing, as was his "I like to go in fresh!"; Kramer's bullshit story about Joe Pepitone and Central Park is so good; Frank taking back the rye and his and Estelle's indignation in the car; It's been far too long since Jerry and George hatched a good plot; Elaine slamming the door in George's face as he says "horsey" and vowing that something awful needs to happen to Jerry; Mrs. Ross' passive aggressive dig about not having bread; The beef-a-reeno song; Nice revisiting to Schnitzer's too; Jerry stealing the rye from Mabel is another classic scene; Rusty killing the mood with a giant horse shit; The final scene is about as good as it gets, a true pantheon finish; The payoff to John being terrible at oral sex was a good, ahem, climax to the show
What Didn't Work
I hate John's hair; Stop being a dick, Clyde, help the poor guy with his bulk purchases, and stop doing that weird ass pointing move; Jerry blaming the horse stench for his weak throws is a soft excuse, man up Jerome
Key Character Debuts
- John Jermaine
- Mabel
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "All right. What are you, outta your mind? Look at this. What did you buy here? You will never be able to finish all this stuff." - Jerry "Course I will. These are staples." - Kramer "A four-pound can of black olives? That's a staple?" - Jerry "Lindsay olives, Jerry." - Kramer "A forty-eight pack of Eggo waffles? A gallon of barbecue sauce? Ten pounds of cocktail meatballs?"- Jerry "$17.50. You can't beat that." - Kramer "Look...look at this can of tuna!" - Jerry "Yeah. Star Kist, Jerry. Most tuna don't make their cut." - Kramer "This isn't for a person. This is for Biosphere 3." - Jerry
- "I don't like that tie." - Estelle "What's the matter with this tie? I've hardly worn it." - Frank "It's too thin. They're wearing wide now." - Estelle "How do you know what kind of ties they wear?" - Frank "Go to any office building on 7th Avenue and tell me if there's anyone there wearing a thin tie like that. Go ahead!" - Estelle "Oh, get the hell outta here. 7th Avenue." - Frank
- "Merlot? I never heard of it. Did they just invent it?" - Estelle
- "Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?" - Frank "Why don't we talk about it another time." - George "But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing!" - Frank "Something's missing all right." - Mrs. Ross "They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them." - Mr. Ross "That's perverse." - Frank
- "Of course, uh, this is Central Park. Uh, this was designed in 1850 by Joe Pepitone. Um, built during the Civil War so the northern armies could practice fighting on...on grass. Oh, yeah. Giddyup. On Rusty!" - Kramer
- "It is a big deal. You're supposed to serve cake after a meal. I'm sorry. It's impolite." - Estelle "Not impolite...it's stupid, that's what it is. You gotta be stupid to do something like that!" - Frank "Your father's absolutely right. We're sitting there like idiots drinking coffee without a piece of cake!" - Estelle
- "Jerry, I think I bought too much at that price club. I don't have any room for it all." - Kramer
- "No! It's not a good thing! It's a bad thing! Do you know what this is like? To have no control over a relationship? And - and you feel sick to your stomach all the time? Do you know what that's like?" - Elaine "No, but I've read articles and I must say it, doesn't sound very pleasant." - Jerry "You know, one of these days, something terrible is gonna happen to you. It has to!" - Elaine "No. I'm gonna be just fine, but as far as your situation, you're seeing him tonight so talk to him about it." - Jerry
- "I'm so keen-o...On Beef-A-Reno...What a delicious cuisine-o...Fit for a king and queen-o!...Yeah. Eat up. I got thirty four more cans." - Kramer
- "Shut up, you old bag!" - Jerry
- "I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ross. One never knows how the gastrointestinal workings of the equine are going to function." - Kramer
- "Wait a second! I never baited a hook with a rye before. Your hook is too small. This is for, like, a muffin. All right. Take it away." - Jerry
Oddities & Fun Facts
- The gang was last inside Schnitzer's Bakery in The Dinner Party (S5, E13)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
An easy perfect score here. One of the greatest episodes they ever pieced together as it ticked off all the key Seinfeld boxes: Physical humor, Sexual innuendo for a taboo topic, Beautiful storytelling, Iconic moments that would leak into pop culture, Quick hitting wit and line delivery, Callbacks to past episodes and Costanza madness. This had it all. The final scene is easily one of the best in the show's history and was such a tremendous payoff to a perfectly botched plan that was almost salvaged in the end. Plus, we got the Costanzas in a complete tour de force. Not one scene felt wasted here and the episode breezed right by. It was all such a perfect plan and it all turned to, ahem, shit. Final Grade: 10/10
Best Character
I will give this to the whole Constanza Family. George was at his scheming best and Frank and Estelle came back on a mission to prove how epic they can be when united. From the tie argument to the questioning of the origins of Merlot to the hen sex to Firestorm, they brought the hot fire. Never change.
Best Storyline
The rye, far and away. It was a tremendous plot that almost worked but fell just short. Along with it comes Jerry mugging an old woman and Kramer feeding a horse processed spaghetti and meatballs until it shit all over the streets of Gotham. Hard to beat it.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
If you are a man of his 30s (or maybe 40s) and are just beginning to date a very attractive woman, should you tell her early on that you don't like to go down on women? Get your shit together, Johnny. And get a haircut too.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
The Rosses and the Costanzas for ever and ever, they shall be united for all of eternity. They can dine over rye and Merlot while watching Firestorm night after night, like a blissful Groundhog Day, and we should be lucky enough to witness just one of their evenings together. Relationship Grade: Going In Fresh/10
What Worked:
The sponge worthy callback was well done; The brilliant dance around cunnilingus talk is peak Seinfeld; The Price Club scene to open up the show proper is so great, "Lindsey olives" cracks me up every time; The Costanzas return with a bang with the tie argument; Frank's belt cinch when saying he is going to show the Rosses about taste is iconic Frank; Kramer's pratfall with the groceries is one of his best; Frank's deep dive into poultry and sex was amazing, as was his "I like to go in fresh!"; Kramer's bullshit story about Joe Pepitone and Central Park is so good; Frank taking back the rye and his and Estelle's indignation in the car; It's been far too long since Jerry and George hatched a good plot; Elaine slamming the door in George's face as he says "horsey" and vowing that something awful needs to happen to Jerry; Mrs. Ross' passive aggressive dig about not having bread; The beef-a-reeno song; Nice revisiting to Schnitzer's too; Jerry stealing the rye from Mabel is another classic scene; Rusty killing the mood with a giant horse shit; The final scene is about as good as it gets, a true pantheon finish; The payoff to John being terrible at oral sex was a good, ahem, climax to the show
What Didn't Work
I hate John's hair; Stop being a dick, Clyde, help the poor guy with his bulk purchases, and stop doing that weird ass pointing move; Jerry blaming the horse stench for his weak throws is a soft excuse, man up Jerome
Key Character Debuts
- John Jermaine
- Mabel
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "All right. What are you, outta your mind? Look at this. What did you buy here? You will never be able to finish all this stuff." - Jerry "Course I will. These are staples." - Kramer "A four-pound can of black olives? That's a staple?" - Jerry "Lindsay olives, Jerry." - Kramer "A forty-eight pack of Eggo waffles? A gallon of barbecue sauce? Ten pounds of cocktail meatballs?"- Jerry "$17.50. You can't beat that." - Kramer "Look...look at this can of tuna!" - Jerry "Yeah. Star Kist, Jerry. Most tuna don't make their cut." - Kramer "This isn't for a person. This is for Biosphere 3." - Jerry
- "I don't like that tie." - Estelle "What's the matter with this tie? I've hardly worn it." - Frank "It's too thin. They're wearing wide now." - Estelle "How do you know what kind of ties they wear?" - Frank "Go to any office building on 7th Avenue and tell me if there's anyone there wearing a thin tie like that. Go ahead!" - Estelle "Oh, get the hell outta here. 7th Avenue." - Frank
- "Merlot? I never heard of it. Did they just invent it?" - Estelle
- "Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?" - Frank "Why don't we talk about it another time." - George "But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing!" - Frank "Something's missing all right." - Mrs. Ross "They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them." - Mr. Ross "That's perverse." - Frank
- "Of course, uh, this is Central Park. Uh, this was designed in 1850 by Joe Pepitone. Um, built during the Civil War so the northern armies could practice fighting on...on grass. Oh, yeah. Giddyup. On Rusty!" - Kramer
- "It is a big deal. You're supposed to serve cake after a meal. I'm sorry. It's impolite." - Estelle "Not impolite...it's stupid, that's what it is. You gotta be stupid to do something like that!" - Frank "Your father's absolutely right. We're sitting there like idiots drinking coffee without a piece of cake!" - Estelle
- "Jerry, I think I bought too much at that price club. I don't have any room for it all." - Kramer
- "No! It's not a good thing! It's a bad thing! Do you know what this is like? To have no control over a relationship? And - and you feel sick to your stomach all the time? Do you know what that's like?" - Elaine "No, but I've read articles and I must say it, doesn't sound very pleasant." - Jerry "You know, one of these days, something terrible is gonna happen to you. It has to!" - Elaine "No. I'm gonna be just fine, but as far as your situation, you're seeing him tonight so talk to him about it." - Jerry
- "I'm so keen-o...On Beef-A-Reno...What a delicious cuisine-o...Fit for a king and queen-o!...Yeah. Eat up. I got thirty four more cans." - Kramer
- "Shut up, you old bag!" - Jerry
- "I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ross. One never knows how the gastrointestinal workings of the equine are going to function." - Kramer
- "Wait a second! I never baited a hook with a rye before. Your hook is too small. This is for, like, a muffin. All right. Take it away." - Jerry
Oddities & Fun Facts
- The gang was last inside Schnitzer's Bakery in The Dinner Party (S5, E13)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
An easy perfect score here. One of the greatest episodes they ever pieced together as it ticked off all the key Seinfeld boxes: Physical humor, Sexual innuendo for a taboo topic, Beautiful storytelling, Iconic moments that would leak into pop culture, Quick hitting wit and line delivery, Callbacks to past episodes and Costanza madness. This had it all. The final scene is easily one of the best in the show's history and was such a tremendous payoff to a perfectly botched plan that was almost salvaged in the end. Plus, we got the Costanzas in a complete tour de force. Not one scene felt wasted here and the episode breezed right by. It was all such a perfect plan and it all turned to, ahem, shit. Final Grade: 10/10
Comments
Post a Comment