Seinfeld: The Series Rewatch - "The Secretary" (S6, E9)

JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.

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Best Character

I really enjoyed Jerry and Kramer but I think I am actually going to go with Big Kenny Bania. He was only in a few scenes but he slayed them all yet again. His delivery is so damn perfect and his obsession with wanting to dine with Jerry is so endearing. YOUR NANCY BOY CREAM!

Best Storyline

I will go with the dry cleaner stuff since the storyline concept was really pretty inspired. Plus the payoff at the end when Jerry yanks the coat off that fat hot dog munching wife of Willie.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

Should you hire a secretary that is ugly so you won't have sex with her? If you are single? Hell no! Georgie Boy only needed to pull that stunt if he was trying to protect himself while in a relationship. But he is always looking to score and this was a potential way to land a hot tomato. Of course, the odds of him nailing someone like Ada are much higher than any of the other candidates that his strategy may have paid off in the end anyway.

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

The tension between Jerome and Bania continues here as Kenny is still trying his best to woo Jerry via nice dates at fancy restaurants. Jerry is wavering a bit but still adamant about not going to the next level. Relationship Grade: 2 (Mendys)/10

What Worked:

George referring to a hot woman as a "tomato" made me laugh; I also loved George's brutal honesty during the job interviews; The Demi pronunciation conversation was good; Kramer's "good idea" was awesome; George falling for Ada after rejecting the tomatoes was a nice twist; Elaine spoiling the movie outside the theatre was awesome; Kramer meeting Uma Thurman is so random; "I'm giving you a raise!" was fantastic as was Jerry questioning his authorization; Jerry's "it's almost a week" in response to George saying Ada worked there for three days; A dry cleaner wearing people's clothes is a pretty damn good idea for a story; Kenny Bania returning and immediately getting back into the suit game was awesome and his negotiating with the K-Man was well done; Kramer selling the suit he was wearing with no backup plan is perfect booking; The random guy telling Elaine she could never pull the dress off; Bania continues to kill it throughout the whole episode; Mendy's; Jerry stealing back his mother's coat and Kramer wearing it on the street and then Bania getting the date with Uma was a nice payoff to everything

What Didn't Work

What happened to Jerry's old dry cleaner?; I hate the way Ada talks and pronounces Costanza; The Barney's saleslady is a real piece of work

Key Character Debuts

Willie the Dry Cleaner
Ada the Secretary

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

- "Well I am actually going to have a secretary and I get to do the interview." - George "That's incredible. Six months ago you were taking messages for your mother." - Jerry
- "Whoa, this is a beauty. Great cut. It's probably very flattering." - Willie "Oh yes, it really accentuates my bust line." - Jerry
- "You're luscious. You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra." - George
- "I’m telling you Jerry, having a secretary is incredible. I don't know why I didn’t have one before." - George "Because you didn’t have a job?" - Jerry
- "You arms look like something hanging in a kosher deli." - George
- "Oh I’m returning this dress to Barney’s." - Elaine "Good idea." - Kramer
- "Just a quick sidebar here, are you in anyway authorized to give raises?" - Jerry "Not that I’m aware of, no." - George
- "Look at the stitching. This is old world craftsmanship." - Kramer "300 dollars." - Bania "Sold. Follow me into the dressing room." - Kramer "You throw the shirt in?" - Bania "Bania, you're killing me." - Kramer "Hey that's the women's dressing room." - Bania "There's nothing in there that I haven't seen before." - Kramer
- "Yes, In fact, her mother is in the hospital right now. It's some kind of a Diverticulitis." - George "I had a bout of that myself one time, knocked me right on my ass." - Steinbrenner
- " Kramer, I want my money back for this suit. You're nancy-boy cream leaked all over the pockets. Suits ruined." - Bania
- "Can we go back to Mendy’s?" - Bania "You want to go to Mendy’s, I’ll take you to Mendy’s." - Jerry "Twice? I wanna go twice." - Bania "All right let’s be reasonable, Bania. I’m taking you out for a nice dinner. All I want is a little ticket in that pocket. I think it's a pretty good deal." - Jerry "Two Mendys." - Bania

Oddities & Fun Facts

- Jerry referencing Kramer's kavorka is a callback to The Conversion (S5, E11)
- Newsradio's Vicki Lewis portrays Ada
- Jerry and Bania discussing dinner at Mendy's is a callback to The Soup (S6, E7)

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

I liked this one much more than I remember thanks to some really sharp dialogue from the whole crew and a killer showing from Bania. The whole dry cleaner story was really funny and Kramer's Barney's escapades were well done too. George and Ada were funny but all of that felt a bit jammed in and didn't quite have room to breathe. There are definitely plenty of laughs stuffed into this one but it slots in just under the highest level episode for me. Final Grade: 7/10

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