JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.
Best Character
I thought Jerry was on fire in this one, landing great zinger after zinger in every scene. George was at his angry best here and Kramer had some good lines too but Jerry consistently made me laugh throughout an episode that was carried on the strength of its dialogue.
Best Storyline
This is kind of a cop out... but I am going with the overall dialogue. None of the actual stories really popped but man the dialogue in this episode was awesome across the board.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
I don't think Elaine's comment about giving the bike to anyone that helped her should have held up. She was clearly in distress and serious pain and not thinking clearly. Now, if Kramer reiterated the deal and Elaine still agreed in front of the witness, Jerry, then you may have a case. As is, it was never an official verbal bond.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
The whole Jerry and Christie thing was creep city from the jump. From Jerry eye banging her in the toy store to him trying to force her to change inside her apartment, it all felt a bit too much this time around. Relationship Grade: 0/10
What Worked:
Jerry dismissing Elaine while flirting with Christie cracked me up, as did George's line about marrying Susan's cousin's daughter; George trashing the names at dinner was great and exact proof why you never share your baby name ideas with people before the baby is born; SODA!; I appreciate Kramer's taste for real mustard; Jerry mocking Elaine's neck injury; Kramer wrenching Elaine's neck gets me every time; Kramer's healing guru being a guy that sells t-shirts at the World Trade Center and Jerry's pediatrics line were both great; Kramer demanding the bike for helping Elaine; George melting down in the car after Susan rejects Seven; Jerry mocking Seven and suggesting other names is one of my all time favorite scenes, "Sauce" gets me every time; Kramer telling George to put the soda on his tab; Kramer's line about eating a horse is another all time favorite of mine; Kramer riding the bike down the street and ignoring Elaine and then Elaine shutting the door on him in the apartment; It was good to get a classic Newman rant as it had been a while; George harassing Ken and Carrie and suggesting other numbers as names and saying he promised "The Widow Mantle" about the name; Newman going full King Solomon; George's "I'm having sex with the cousin!" is such an awesome line; Hobo Joe; Kramer selling Newman the bike is a good capper
What Didn't Work
Jerry is kind of creepy the way he way was staring down Christie like a leach in the toy store; Kind of random that Jerry has a box of cupcakes sitting around his apartment; Jerry is super creepy again later about forcing Christie to change her dress and trying to worm his way into sleeping over, it got a bit uncomfortable
Key Character Debuts
- Christie
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid." - Jerry
- "I think your friend needs some help over there." - Christie "You know, the only way to really help her is to just let her be." - Jerry
- "So, Carrie, you and Susan are cousins. So your baby daughter is gonna be Susan's second cousin, right? So what does that make me?" - George "Doesn't make you anything." - Carrie "Well, so, legally, I could marry your daughter." - George
- "Soda. S-O-D-A. Soda." - George "I don't know, it sounds a little strange." - Carrie "All names sound strange the first time you hear 'em. What, you telling me people loved the name Blanche the first time they heard it?" - George
- "No, no, I can't eat that. You can't eat a sandwich without dijon." - Kramer "Yeah, you're right. I really should keep more of your favourites on hand." - Jerry
- "Well, your arterioles have constricted." - Kramer
- "Ohh yeah. A wise man once taught me the healing power of the body's natural pressure points. He sells t-shirts outside the World Trade Centre." - Kramer
- "Wow! That is unbelievable. The pain is totally gone!" - Elaine "What's even more amazing is his formal training is in pediatrics." - Jerry
- "Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you're doing that child quite a service." - Jerry "Yes I am. I defy you to come up with a better name than Seven." - George "Awright, let's see. How about Mug? Mug Costanza, that's original. Or uh, Ketchup? Pretty name for a girl." - Jerry "Alright, you having a good time there?" - George "I got fifty right here in the cupboard. How about Bisquik? Pimento. Gherkin. Sauce. Maxwell House." - Jerry
- "Well this is it. The food is atrocious, but the busboys are the best in the city." - Jerry
- "You know, Einstein wore the exact same outfit every day." - George "Well, if she splits the atom, I'll let it slide." - Jerry
- "You know, George, just because your life is destroyed, don't destroy someone else's." - Jerry
- "Well, I don't wanna get into the whole physics of carbonation with you here, but you know the sound a can makes when you open it?" - Jerry "Yeah." - Kramer "That is the sound of you buying a whole can. And the same goes for this, okay...When you pierce the skin of a piece of fruit, you've bought the whole fruit. Not a third of an apple, not a half of a banana..." - Jerry
- "No we didn't. You take these things too literally. It's like saying, you're hungry enough to eat a horse." - Elaine "Well, my friend Jay Reimenschneider eats horse all the time. He gets it from his butcher." - Kramer
- "Well now it's not gonna be original! It's gonna lose all its cachet!" - George "I dunno how much cachet it had to begin with." - Susan "Oh, it's got cachet, baby! It's got cachet up the yin-yang!" - George
- "His chiropractic job was a crock. It's even worse than it was before." - Elaine "Boy, I'm surprised. I would think Kramer would have a knack for moving pieces of a person's spine around." - Jerry
- "Bed? You should be sleeping on a wooden board for at least a week." - Kramer "What? You never told me that." - Elaine "Well, it's common sense." - Kramer
- "Mmm. You present an interesting dilemma. Each of you seemingly has a legitimate claim to the bicycle, and yet the bicycle can have only one rightful owner. Quite the conundrum. As a federal employee, I believe the law is all we have. It's all that separates us from the savages who don't deserve even the privilege of the daily mail. Stuffing parcels into mailboxes where they don't belong!!" - Newman
- "What happened to Soda?! I thought we all agreed on Soda." - George "Well, we don't care for Soda." - Ken "You don't care for Soda?!" - George "No, no. We don't like Soda at all!" - Carrie "How d'you not like Soda?! It's bubbly, it's refreshing!" - George
- "Please! I have so little!" - George "Sorry sir, it's family only." - Orderly "I'm family. I'm having sex with the cousin!" - George
Oddities & Fun Facts
- N/A
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
This felt like one of the episodes from the early seasons where the storylines were shaky but the dialogue and character work were so locked in that it still ended up as an entertaining episode. I thought the delivery and lines were so good here that it completely carried what could have been a real bottom of the barrel episode. I laughed out loud multiple times at the stuff they all were saying and this episode is littered with lines I still use to this day, from Jay Reimenschneider and his horse meals to George yelling about having sex with "the cousin" there were a lot of laughs sprinkled throughout what were some soft story arcs. Mug. Mug Costanza. Final Grade: 6/10
Best Character
I thought Jerry was on fire in this one, landing great zinger after zinger in every scene. George was at his angry best here and Kramer had some good lines too but Jerry consistently made me laugh throughout an episode that was carried on the strength of its dialogue.
Best Storyline
This is kind of a cop out... but I am going with the overall dialogue. None of the actual stories really popped but man the dialogue in this episode was awesome across the board.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
I don't think Elaine's comment about giving the bike to anyone that helped her should have held up. She was clearly in distress and serious pain and not thinking clearly. Now, if Kramer reiterated the deal and Elaine still agreed in front of the witness, Jerry, then you may have a case. As is, it was never an official verbal bond.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
The whole Jerry and Christie thing was creep city from the jump. From Jerry eye banging her in the toy store to him trying to force her to change inside her apartment, it all felt a bit too much this time around. Relationship Grade: 0/10
What Worked:
Jerry dismissing Elaine while flirting with Christie cracked me up, as did George's line about marrying Susan's cousin's daughter; George trashing the names at dinner was great and exact proof why you never share your baby name ideas with people before the baby is born; SODA!; I appreciate Kramer's taste for real mustard; Jerry mocking Elaine's neck injury; Kramer wrenching Elaine's neck gets me every time; Kramer's healing guru being a guy that sells t-shirts at the World Trade Center and Jerry's pediatrics line were both great; Kramer demanding the bike for helping Elaine; George melting down in the car after Susan rejects Seven; Jerry mocking Seven and suggesting other names is one of my all time favorite scenes, "Sauce" gets me every time; Kramer telling George to put the soda on his tab; Kramer's line about eating a horse is another all time favorite of mine; Kramer riding the bike down the street and ignoring Elaine and then Elaine shutting the door on him in the apartment; It was good to get a classic Newman rant as it had been a while; George harassing Ken and Carrie and suggesting other numbers as names and saying he promised "The Widow Mantle" about the name; Newman going full King Solomon; George's "I'm having sex with the cousin!" is such an awesome line; Hobo Joe; Kramer selling Newman the bike is a good capper
What Didn't Work
Jerry is kind of creepy the way he way was staring down Christie like a leach in the toy store; Kind of random that Jerry has a box of cupcakes sitting around his apartment; Jerry is super creepy again later about forcing Christie to change her dress and trying to worm his way into sleeping over, it got a bit uncomfortable
Key Character Debuts
- Christie
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid." - Jerry
- "I think your friend needs some help over there." - Christie "You know, the only way to really help her is to just let her be." - Jerry
- "So, Carrie, you and Susan are cousins. So your baby daughter is gonna be Susan's second cousin, right? So what does that make me?" - George "Doesn't make you anything." - Carrie "Well, so, legally, I could marry your daughter." - George
- "Soda. S-O-D-A. Soda." - George "I don't know, it sounds a little strange." - Carrie "All names sound strange the first time you hear 'em. What, you telling me people loved the name Blanche the first time they heard it?" - George
- "No, no, I can't eat that. You can't eat a sandwich without dijon." - Kramer "Yeah, you're right. I really should keep more of your favourites on hand." - Jerry
- "Well, your arterioles have constricted." - Kramer
- "Ohh yeah. A wise man once taught me the healing power of the body's natural pressure points. He sells t-shirts outside the World Trade Centre." - Kramer
- "Wow! That is unbelievable. The pain is totally gone!" - Elaine "What's even more amazing is his formal training is in pediatrics." - Jerry
- "Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you're doing that child quite a service." - Jerry "Yes I am. I defy you to come up with a better name than Seven." - George "Awright, let's see. How about Mug? Mug Costanza, that's original. Or uh, Ketchup? Pretty name for a girl." - Jerry "Alright, you having a good time there?" - George "I got fifty right here in the cupboard. How about Bisquik? Pimento. Gherkin. Sauce. Maxwell House." - Jerry
- "Well this is it. The food is atrocious, but the busboys are the best in the city." - Jerry
- "You know, Einstein wore the exact same outfit every day." - George "Well, if she splits the atom, I'll let it slide." - Jerry
- "You know, George, just because your life is destroyed, don't destroy someone else's." - Jerry
- "Well, I don't wanna get into the whole physics of carbonation with you here, but you know the sound a can makes when you open it?" - Jerry "Yeah." - Kramer "That is the sound of you buying a whole can. And the same goes for this, okay...When you pierce the skin of a piece of fruit, you've bought the whole fruit. Not a third of an apple, not a half of a banana..." - Jerry
- "No we didn't. You take these things too literally. It's like saying, you're hungry enough to eat a horse." - Elaine "Well, my friend Jay Reimenschneider eats horse all the time. He gets it from his butcher." - Kramer
- "Well now it's not gonna be original! It's gonna lose all its cachet!" - George "I dunno how much cachet it had to begin with." - Susan "Oh, it's got cachet, baby! It's got cachet up the yin-yang!" - George
- "His chiropractic job was a crock. It's even worse than it was before." - Elaine "Boy, I'm surprised. I would think Kramer would have a knack for moving pieces of a person's spine around." - Jerry
- "Bed? You should be sleeping on a wooden board for at least a week." - Kramer "What? You never told me that." - Elaine "Well, it's common sense." - Kramer
- "Mmm. You present an interesting dilemma. Each of you seemingly has a legitimate claim to the bicycle, and yet the bicycle can have only one rightful owner. Quite the conundrum. As a federal employee, I believe the law is all we have. It's all that separates us from the savages who don't deserve even the privilege of the daily mail. Stuffing parcels into mailboxes where they don't belong!!" - Newman
- "What happened to Soda?! I thought we all agreed on Soda." - George "Well, we don't care for Soda." - Ken "You don't care for Soda?!" - George "No, no. We don't like Soda at all!" - Carrie "How d'you not like Soda?! It's bubbly, it's refreshing!" - George
- "Please! I have so little!" - George "Sorry sir, it's family only." - Orderly "I'm family. I'm having sex with the cousin!" - George
Oddities & Fun Facts
- N/A
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
This felt like one of the episodes from the early seasons where the storylines were shaky but the dialogue and character work were so locked in that it still ended up as an entertaining episode. I thought the delivery and lines were so good here that it completely carried what could have been a real bottom of the barrel episode. I laughed out loud multiple times at the stuff they all were saying and this episode is littered with lines I still use to this day, from Jay Reimenschneider and his horse meals to George yelling about having sex with "the cousin" there were a lot of laughs sprinkled throughout what were some soft story arcs. Mug. Mug Costanza. Final Grade: 6/10
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