JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.
Best Character
A lot of inspired performances here. Peterman and Elaine were magic together. Morty, Helen and Estelle were great as always. George, Leo and Kramer were dialed in too. Even the shower head dealer was good. But, two stood out among the rest on this one: Jerry and Frank. Jerry's svengali act with Leo was classic, especially the second time around. I also loved his high wire act with his parents and freak out when they asked to move in with him. Tag on his flat hair and he delivered. Frank is Frank. The ominous phone call was a pantheon scene.
Best Storyline
Del Boca Vista is the choice here. It was really well done and I loved Jerry and George celebrating and the fact that the Costanzas were going to move thousands of miles away just to spite the Seinfelds. Plus, Frank's phone call.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
What the fuck kind of drug testing place doesn't warn about or account for poppy seed consumption? Was Elaine the first person to eat poppy seed bagels to ever get drug tested? Shit company, step up your game Peterman!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
Peterman needs to bang Elaine already. The sexual tension during the opium discussion was overwhelming. Do it in the steamy 150 degree jungles of Africa. Relationship Grade: 150/10
What Worked:
George thinking Africa is 150 degrees; Elaine not bothering attending the Tonight Show because Jerry isn't doing new material; Del Boca Vista!; Jerry explaining the Tonight Show taping to Morty; Jerry going full svengali with Leo was great and the Goebbels line always kills me; Peterman talking slang for opium is great; The Costanzas, as always; George's petting dolphins line; The shower issues were good for a laugh, especially the first reveal of the hair by Jerry, Kramer and Newman; Peterman catching Kramer and Elaine talking about the shower and then throwing him out is so awesome, even the big K-Man bump at the end and capped with him firing Laney; Jerry's scene explaining his life to the wrong number was really well executed; The setup of having the Seinfelds steal the chicken from catering feeding into Elaine eating another poppy seed was well done too; Jerry using his pinky instead of putting his hand with Kramer and Newman; I loved Jerry and George celebrating the Florida moves; Frank's phone call; The Independent Jerry line was a perfect callback; Jerry's second rant on Leo; Elaine melting down and begging for Helen's urine while she stammers over which cup to use; Elaine's old lady pee test; Morty's hair and the swim trunk argument close things out perfectly along with Kramer and the elephant shower head
What Didn't Work
Not in there control but the long distance calling being a deterrent is funny in a time capsule type way; They have never accounted for poppy seeds in piss tests before?; Elaine at the coffee shop explaining her issues felt like forced exposition, it wasn't bad but kind of rare for Seinfeld so it stuck out
Key Character Debuts
N/A
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Mr. Peterman sent me over here for a physical because as you may or may not know, he and I are going on a trip to Kenya. Africa. My first such mission for the company. The Massai bushmen wear these great sandals and we're gonna knock them off. Not the Massai, the sandals." - Elaine
- "Uncle Leo's having regular sex?" - George "Yeah, I know. It devalues the whole thing." - Jerry
- "Yeah, well they tape it in the afternoon and then they air it at 11:30." - Jerry "How long they been doing this?" - Morty "30 years." - Jerry
- "It's about time you called your uncle. We've got to do this once a week." - Uncle Leo
- "They don't just overcook a hamburger, Jerry." - Uncle Leo "All right. Anyway, the point I was making before Goebbles made your hamburger is a man like you could be dating women twenty years younger. C'mon Uncle Leo, I've seen the way women look at you. When's the last time you looked in a mirror? You're an Adonis! You've got beautiful features, lovely skin, you're in the prime of your life here, you should be swinging. If I were you I'd tell this Lydia character, "It's been real," move back into that bachelor pad and put out a sign; Open for business." - Jerry
- "That's right, Elaine. White lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally." - Peterman "That's impossible, I've never done a drug in my life. Dr. Strugatz must have made a mistake." - Elaine "Not a chance. I'm afraid I'll just have to find someone else to accompany me on my journey. The dark continent is no place for an addict!" - Peterman
- "I was out for five minutes before, I couldn't feel my extremities." - Frank "What extremities?" - Estelle
- "What about the dolphins? You could swim with the dolphins down there." - George "I don't swim." - Estelle "You could pet them. They come right out of the water onto the sidewalks." - George
- "Jerry's got nothing. Newman's got nothing. You're the only one I know who's got the good stuff, and I need it bad, baby, cause I feel like I got bugs crawling up my skin. Now you gotta help me out." - Kramer
- "I know what you're going through. I too once fell under the spell of opium. It was 1979. I was travelling the Yangtzee in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. I had got to the market after sundown, all of the clothing traders had gone, but a different sort of trader still lurked about. "Just a taste," he said. That was all it took." - Peterman "Mr. Peterman, I don't know what's going on here. I am not addicted to anything." - Elaine "Oh, Elaine. The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul. Oh, and by the way, you have til' 5:00 to clear out your desk. You're fired." - Peterman
- "Are you telling me there's not one condo available in all of Del Boca Vista?" - Frank
- "I know this doesn't seem like work to any of you, if you could perhaps conduct your psychopath convention down the hall, I could just get a little personal space." - Jerry
- "Hey, listen to this, Uncle Leo broke up with his girlfriend because of the bit I did. She thought it was funny, so he accused *her* of being an anti-Semite. They had a huge fight and now he's moving back into his apartment. You know what this means, my parents are gonna go back to Florida... What? What number is this? Oh, I'm terribly sorry." - Jerry
- "I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath." - Kramer "No good?" - Jerry "It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me." - Kramer
- "From a certain connection, I've been able to locate some black market shower heads. They're all made in the former Yugoslavia, and from what I hear the Serbs are fanatic about their showers." - Newman "Not from the footage I've seen." - Jerry
- "Has nothing to do with the weather, it's because of the Seinfelds." - Frank "What do you mean?" - George "They don't want us there, so we're going. We're moving right into Del Boca Vista!" - Frank "So you're moving there for spite!" - George "Absolutely. No one tells Frank Costanza what to do!" - Frank "That's right, who the hell are they? How dare they?!" - Jerry
- "This is Frank Costanza." - Frank "What do you want?" - Morty "You think you could keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!" - Frank
- "Swinging? What are you, out of your mind? Look at you, you're disgusting. You're bald, you're paunchy, all kinds of sounds are emanating from your body twenty-four hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death. Which is not far off, by the way." - Jerry "But she's an anti-Semite." - Leo "Can you blame her?" - Jerry
- "Elaine, according to your urine analysis, you're menopausal. you have the metabolism of a sixty-eight year old woman." - Peterman "But I wanted to see the bushmen." - Elaine "Oh, and one more thing. You may have osteoporosis." - Peterman
Oddities & Fun Facts
- Jerry using "Independent Jerry" is a callback to "The Pool Guy" (S7, E8)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
The title of this episode completely sets you up to expect a middling one. I remembered the shower head storyline as being OK and completely didn't realize everything else that was crammed in here, so I was blown away once it all came flooding back. Everyone was fantastic and we even had a pantheon moment with Frank's phone call. I thought Jerry was top notch the whole way through and his scenes with Leo were killer. Lots of Costanzas and lots of Seinfelds make any episode a winner, but this kept piling cherries all over the sundae, scene by scene. I'M GONNA BE ALL OVER THAT SHUFFLEBOARD COURT! Final Grade: 10/10
Best Character
A lot of inspired performances here. Peterman and Elaine were magic together. Morty, Helen and Estelle were great as always. George, Leo and Kramer were dialed in too. Even the shower head dealer was good. But, two stood out among the rest on this one: Jerry and Frank. Jerry's svengali act with Leo was classic, especially the second time around. I also loved his high wire act with his parents and freak out when they asked to move in with him. Tag on his flat hair and he delivered. Frank is Frank. The ominous phone call was a pantheon scene.
Best Storyline
Del Boca Vista is the choice here. It was really well done and I loved Jerry and George celebrating and the fact that the Costanzas were going to move thousands of miles away just to spite the Seinfelds. Plus, Frank's phone call.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
What the fuck kind of drug testing place doesn't warn about or account for poppy seed consumption? Was Elaine the first person to eat poppy seed bagels to ever get drug tested? Shit company, step up your game Peterman!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
Peterman needs to bang Elaine already. The sexual tension during the opium discussion was overwhelming. Do it in the steamy 150 degree jungles of Africa. Relationship Grade: 150/10
What Worked:
George thinking Africa is 150 degrees; Elaine not bothering attending the Tonight Show because Jerry isn't doing new material; Del Boca Vista!; Jerry explaining the Tonight Show taping to Morty; Jerry going full svengali with Leo was great and the Goebbels line always kills me; Peterman talking slang for opium is great; The Costanzas, as always; George's petting dolphins line; The shower issues were good for a laugh, especially the first reveal of the hair by Jerry, Kramer and Newman; Peterman catching Kramer and Elaine talking about the shower and then throwing him out is so awesome, even the big K-Man bump at the end and capped with him firing Laney; Jerry's scene explaining his life to the wrong number was really well executed; The setup of having the Seinfelds steal the chicken from catering feeding into Elaine eating another poppy seed was well done too; Jerry using his pinky instead of putting his hand with Kramer and Newman; I loved Jerry and George celebrating the Florida moves; Frank's phone call; The Independent Jerry line was a perfect callback; Jerry's second rant on Leo; Elaine melting down and begging for Helen's urine while she stammers over which cup to use; Elaine's old lady pee test; Morty's hair and the swim trunk argument close things out perfectly along with Kramer and the elephant shower head
What Didn't Work
Not in there control but the long distance calling being a deterrent is funny in a time capsule type way; They have never accounted for poppy seeds in piss tests before?; Elaine at the coffee shop explaining her issues felt like forced exposition, it wasn't bad but kind of rare for Seinfeld so it stuck out
Key Character Debuts
N/A
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Mr. Peterman sent me over here for a physical because as you may or may not know, he and I are going on a trip to Kenya. Africa. My first such mission for the company. The Massai bushmen wear these great sandals and we're gonna knock them off. Not the Massai, the sandals." - Elaine
- "Uncle Leo's having regular sex?" - George "Yeah, I know. It devalues the whole thing." - Jerry
- "Yeah, well they tape it in the afternoon and then they air it at 11:30." - Jerry "How long they been doing this?" - Morty "30 years." - Jerry
- "It's about time you called your uncle. We've got to do this once a week." - Uncle Leo
- "They don't just overcook a hamburger, Jerry." - Uncle Leo "All right. Anyway, the point I was making before Goebbles made your hamburger is a man like you could be dating women twenty years younger. C'mon Uncle Leo, I've seen the way women look at you. When's the last time you looked in a mirror? You're an Adonis! You've got beautiful features, lovely skin, you're in the prime of your life here, you should be swinging. If I were you I'd tell this Lydia character, "It's been real," move back into that bachelor pad and put out a sign; Open for business." - Jerry
- "That's right, Elaine. White lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally." - Peterman "That's impossible, I've never done a drug in my life. Dr. Strugatz must have made a mistake." - Elaine "Not a chance. I'm afraid I'll just have to find someone else to accompany me on my journey. The dark continent is no place for an addict!" - Peterman
- "I was out for five minutes before, I couldn't feel my extremities." - Frank "What extremities?" - Estelle
- "What about the dolphins? You could swim with the dolphins down there." - George "I don't swim." - Estelle "You could pet them. They come right out of the water onto the sidewalks." - George
- "Jerry's got nothing. Newman's got nothing. You're the only one I know who's got the good stuff, and I need it bad, baby, cause I feel like I got bugs crawling up my skin. Now you gotta help me out." - Kramer
- "I know what you're going through. I too once fell under the spell of opium. It was 1979. I was travelling the Yangtzee in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. I had got to the market after sundown, all of the clothing traders had gone, but a different sort of trader still lurked about. "Just a taste," he said. That was all it took." - Peterman "Mr. Peterman, I don't know what's going on here. I am not addicted to anything." - Elaine "Oh, Elaine. The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul. Oh, and by the way, you have til' 5:00 to clear out your desk. You're fired." - Peterman
- "Are you telling me there's not one condo available in all of Del Boca Vista?" - Frank
- "I know this doesn't seem like work to any of you, if you could perhaps conduct your psychopath convention down the hall, I could just get a little personal space." - Jerry
- "Hey, listen to this, Uncle Leo broke up with his girlfriend because of the bit I did. She thought it was funny, so he accused *her* of being an anti-Semite. They had a huge fight and now he's moving back into his apartment. You know what this means, my parents are gonna go back to Florida... What? What number is this? Oh, I'm terribly sorry." - Jerry
- "I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath." - Kramer "No good?" - Jerry "It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me." - Kramer
- "From a certain connection, I've been able to locate some black market shower heads. They're all made in the former Yugoslavia, and from what I hear the Serbs are fanatic about their showers." - Newman "Not from the footage I've seen." - Jerry
- "Has nothing to do with the weather, it's because of the Seinfelds." - Frank "What do you mean?" - George "They don't want us there, so we're going. We're moving right into Del Boca Vista!" - Frank "So you're moving there for spite!" - George "Absolutely. No one tells Frank Costanza what to do!" - Frank "That's right, who the hell are they? How dare they?!" - Jerry
- "This is Frank Costanza." - Frank "What do you want?" - Morty "You think you could keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!" - Frank
- "Swinging? What are you, out of your mind? Look at you, you're disgusting. You're bald, you're paunchy, all kinds of sounds are emanating from your body twenty-four hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death. Which is not far off, by the way." - Jerry "But she's an anti-Semite." - Leo "Can you blame her?" - Jerry
- "Elaine, according to your urine analysis, you're menopausal. you have the metabolism of a sixty-eight year old woman." - Peterman "But I wanted to see the bushmen." - Elaine "Oh, and one more thing. You may have osteoporosis." - Peterman
Oddities & Fun Facts
- Jerry using "Independent Jerry" is a callback to "The Pool Guy" (S7, E8)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
The title of this episode completely sets you up to expect a middling one. I remembered the shower head storyline as being OK and completely didn't realize everything else that was crammed in here, so I was blown away once it all came flooding back. Everyone was fantastic and we even had a pantheon moment with Frank's phone call. I thought Jerry was top notch the whole way through and his scenes with Leo were killer. Lots of Costanzas and lots of Seinfelds make any episode a winner, but this kept piling cherries all over the sundae, scene by scene. I'M GONNA BE ALL OVER THAT SHUFFLEBOARD COURT! Final Grade: 10/10
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