JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.
Best Character
Tremendous performance across the board here but I will rank my top three choices. #3 is Georgie Boy, who was great in picking a loser for the scholarship and then having it backfire on him, leading to a showdown with the Van Buren Boys. #2 is Peterman, who was a tour de force here, living a mundane life at home while spinning tales of his wild escapades for his catalogue. The scenes with him and Kramer was tremendous, especially the brief phone call where they sever their partnership. And speaking of the K-Man, he is my #1 here. Between the odd clicking noises, the fantastic pants story, the settling of the Van Buren Boys incident and his golf ball pratfall, this was vintage Cosmo from start to finish.
Best Storyline
As much as I love the Van Buren Boys, Kramer's stories has always been the heart of this episode. The K-Man's tales are his very livelihood and once he sells them off for a mere $750 he realizes his whole life is in shambles. Fuck, the pants story alone would have been enough but there was so much more depth to the story beyond that.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
Should you trust your loser friends to give an evaluation that the girl you are dating is a loser? No. Trust your gut here, Jerome. Ellen was perfect and you wasted it all for no good reason!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
Ellen was perfect. Jerry got clouded by nonsense and pissed away a potential wife. Even if she was a loser, what does Jerry really care? He hangs around with losers all day. Put a ring on it! Relationship Grade: 0 Messages/10
What Worked:
As a presidential history buff, I dug the opening scene, especially George making one up; I also loved George talking about male overcompensation and then Jerry calling him out on his lifts; "Frog is wrong" is an all time favorite line of mine and the whole scene of George interviewing the candidates is awesome; The Van Buren boys story is peak Kramer; I love Jerry's moment of thought before letting George's comment about Elaine being the loser the group slide; Jerry's hamburger dream line is another all time favorite; Peterman being a complete bore at home is a nice twist and him being completely at ease to rip off Kramer's story for his book was good too; "Meaty part of the curve"; Steven's heel turn by trashing architects was funny; Kramer's tongue click when he says erotica is amazing and the fucking pants story is right there with it; Kramer and George bringing up the Bloomingdale's management program was a good callback; Kramer bragging about the "real au jus" sauce; Kramer calling Peterman "Peterson", vagabond and Peterman telling Elaine to put herself in the erotica section; George mugging the Seinfelds
What Didn't Work
For the life of me I will never understand why everyone knows Ellen is a loser, I am fine with not having every plot hammered over our heads, but this one felt just too vague and ambiguous, I would have liked some level of explanation, but that may just be me
Key Character Debuts
- Ellen
- Steven Koren
- The Van Buren Boys
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Well, maybe she decided to celebrate her birthday on the Monday after the weekend." - George "She's not Lincoln." - Jerry
- "Quick, what's your favorite animal?" - George " I... I don't know.. frog?" - Student "A frog?" - George "Well, I... I..." - George "Frog is wrong." - George
- "The Van Buren Boys? There's a street gang named after President Martin Van Buren?" - Jerry "Oh yeah, and they're just as mean as he was!" - Kramer
- "So, she's the loser of the group. Every group has someone that they all make fun of.. Like us with Elaine." - George
- "He knows how to read. And he also knows finishing an entire book doesn't prove anything. And get this: he's into architecture." - George "Hey! Just like you pretend to be." - Jerry "Yes. With a little guidance, Steven Koren is going to be everything I claim to be, only for real. That's my dream, Jerry." - George "I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating me!" - Jerry
- "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Steven Koren. His G.P.A. is a solid 2.0! Right in that meaty part of the curve - not showing off, not falling behind." - George "George, the quailifications for this scholarship were suppose to be.. largely academic." - Wyck "I'm sure we're all aware of the flaws and biases of standardized tests." - George "These aren't standardized tests - these are his grades." - Wyck
- "No, I slipped - and fell in the mud. Ruining the very pants I was about to return." - Kramer "I don't understand... you were wearing the pants you were returning?" - Elaine "Well, I guess I was..." - Kramer "What were you gonna wear on the way back?" - Elaine "Elaine, are you listening?! I didn't even get there!" - Kramer
- "You know, this is liek that Twilight Zone where the guy wakes up, and he's the same - but everyone else is different!" - Jerry "Which one?" - Kramer "They were all like that!" - Jerry
- "Oh, I bought a bunch of bunion stories from Newman - but they all stink!" - Kramer "How much did you pay for them?" - Elaine "Eight bucks! I think I got ripped off!" - Kramer
- "Well, it started out nicely: "I'm returning some pants." A very identifiable problem... "I set of down a train tunnel."... But that's where the story takes a most unappealing turn." - Peterman "Oh, no, no! That's where it gets interesting! Don't you see? The - the train is bearing down on you, you - you dive into a side tunnel - and you run into a whole band of underground tunnel dwellers!" - Elaine "It just seems so cliched, and obvious. It's not interesting writing." - Peterman "Yeah... yeah. I know. Um... how about if, instead of... diving from the train, you... uh, you, I don't know, you slip and, and fall in some mud, and... ruin your pants?" - Elaine "The very pants I was returning. That's perfect irony! Elaine, that is interesting writing!" - Peterman
Oddities & Fun Facts
- Christine Taylor, who portrayed Ellen, is the real life daughter-in-law of Jerry Stiller (Frank Costanza). She is married to Jerry's son Ben Stiller.
- The kid who gets the scholarship is named Steve Koren, which is the name of a Seinfeld writer.
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
This is an all time classic and one of my favorite episodes from the series. I can pick out at least a handful of quotes that we would repeat over and over after this originally aired. The only thing that stands out as a negative to me is that we never really understand why Ellen is a loser. But I guess that is the joke and it is just over my head. The rest is pretty much flawless. The Van Buren Boys and pants stories are legendary, including Peterman's take on the latter, and the frog line is a hidden gem as well. So much to love here, with memorable stories, great one liners and over the top nonsense. This to me is the epitome of nailing a "show about nothing". Final Grade: 10/10
Best Character
Tremendous performance across the board here but I will rank my top three choices. #3 is Georgie Boy, who was great in picking a loser for the scholarship and then having it backfire on him, leading to a showdown with the Van Buren Boys. #2 is Peterman, who was a tour de force here, living a mundane life at home while spinning tales of his wild escapades for his catalogue. The scenes with him and Kramer was tremendous, especially the brief phone call where they sever their partnership. And speaking of the K-Man, he is my #1 here. Between the odd clicking noises, the fantastic pants story, the settling of the Van Buren Boys incident and his golf ball pratfall, this was vintage Cosmo from start to finish.
Best Storyline
As much as I love the Van Buren Boys, Kramer's stories has always been the heart of this episode. The K-Man's tales are his very livelihood and once he sells them off for a mere $750 he realizes his whole life is in shambles. Fuck, the pants story alone would have been enough but there was so much more depth to the story beyond that.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
Should you trust your loser friends to give an evaluation that the girl you are dating is a loser? No. Trust your gut here, Jerome. Ellen was perfect and you wasted it all for no good reason!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
Ellen was perfect. Jerry got clouded by nonsense and pissed away a potential wife. Even if she was a loser, what does Jerry really care? He hangs around with losers all day. Put a ring on it! Relationship Grade: 0 Messages/10
What Worked:
As a presidential history buff, I dug the opening scene, especially George making one up; I also loved George talking about male overcompensation and then Jerry calling him out on his lifts; "Frog is wrong" is an all time favorite line of mine and the whole scene of George interviewing the candidates is awesome; The Van Buren boys story is peak Kramer; I love Jerry's moment of thought before letting George's comment about Elaine being the loser the group slide; Jerry's hamburger dream line is another all time favorite; Peterman being a complete bore at home is a nice twist and him being completely at ease to rip off Kramer's story for his book was good too; "Meaty part of the curve"; Steven's heel turn by trashing architects was funny; Kramer's tongue click when he says erotica is amazing and the fucking pants story is right there with it; Kramer and George bringing up the Bloomingdale's management program was a good callback; Kramer bragging about the "real au jus" sauce; Kramer calling Peterman "Peterson", vagabond and Peterman telling Elaine to put herself in the erotica section; George mugging the Seinfelds
What Didn't Work
For the life of me I will never understand why everyone knows Ellen is a loser, I am fine with not having every plot hammered over our heads, but this one felt just too vague and ambiguous, I would have liked some level of explanation, but that may just be me
Key Character Debuts
- Ellen
- Steven Koren
- The Van Buren Boys
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
- "Well, maybe she decided to celebrate her birthday on the Monday after the weekend." - George "She's not Lincoln." - Jerry
- "Quick, what's your favorite animal?" - George " I... I don't know.. frog?" - Student "A frog?" - George "Well, I... I..." - George "Frog is wrong." - George
- "The Van Buren Boys? There's a street gang named after President Martin Van Buren?" - Jerry "Oh yeah, and they're just as mean as he was!" - Kramer
- "So, she's the loser of the group. Every group has someone that they all make fun of.. Like us with Elaine." - George
- "He knows how to read. And he also knows finishing an entire book doesn't prove anything. And get this: he's into architecture." - George "Hey! Just like you pretend to be." - Jerry "Yes. With a little guidance, Steven Koren is going to be everything I claim to be, only for real. That's my dream, Jerry." - George "I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating me!" - Jerry
- "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Steven Koren. His G.P.A. is a solid 2.0! Right in that meaty part of the curve - not showing off, not falling behind." - George "George, the quailifications for this scholarship were suppose to be.. largely academic." - Wyck "I'm sure we're all aware of the flaws and biases of standardized tests." - George "These aren't standardized tests - these are his grades." - Wyck
- "No, I slipped - and fell in the mud. Ruining the very pants I was about to return." - Kramer "I don't understand... you were wearing the pants you were returning?" - Elaine "Well, I guess I was..." - Kramer "What were you gonna wear on the way back?" - Elaine "Elaine, are you listening?! I didn't even get there!" - Kramer
- "You know, this is liek that Twilight Zone where the guy wakes up, and he's the same - but everyone else is different!" - Jerry "Which one?" - Kramer "They were all like that!" - Jerry
- "Oh, I bought a bunch of bunion stories from Newman - but they all stink!" - Kramer "How much did you pay for them?" - Elaine "Eight bucks! I think I got ripped off!" - Kramer
- "Well, it started out nicely: "I'm returning some pants." A very identifiable problem... "I set of down a train tunnel."... But that's where the story takes a most unappealing turn." - Peterman "Oh, no, no! That's where it gets interesting! Don't you see? The - the train is bearing down on you, you - you dive into a side tunnel - and you run into a whole band of underground tunnel dwellers!" - Elaine "It just seems so cliched, and obvious. It's not interesting writing." - Peterman "Yeah... yeah. I know. Um... how about if, instead of... diving from the train, you... uh, you, I don't know, you slip and, and fall in some mud, and... ruin your pants?" - Elaine "The very pants I was returning. That's perfect irony! Elaine, that is interesting writing!" - Peterman
Oddities & Fun Facts
- Christine Taylor, who portrayed Ellen, is the real life daughter-in-law of Jerry Stiller (Frank Costanza). She is married to Jerry's son Ben Stiller.
- The kid who gets the scholarship is named Steve Koren, which is the name of a Seinfeld writer.
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
This is an all time classic and one of my favorite episodes from the series. I can pick out at least a handful of quotes that we would repeat over and over after this originally aired. The only thing that stands out as a negative to me is that we never really understand why Ellen is a loser. But I guess that is the joke and it is just over my head. The rest is pretty much flawless. The Van Buren Boys and pants stories are legendary, including Peterman's take on the latter, and the frog line is a hidden gem as well. So much to love here, with memorable stories, great one liners and over the top nonsense. This to me is the epitome of nailing a "show about nothing". Final Grade: 10/10
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