Seinfeld: The Series Rewatch - "The Visa" (S4, E14)

JT's comments below originally ran as part of Place to Be Nation's "Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch" project.

414-visa

Best Character

It's Jerry here for me. He was fantastic with his whole "not funny" act with Cheryl and his desperation to help Babu while also blaming Elaine for everything was very well done. Some of the shit he was saying in his dark, monotone discussions with Cheryl were so bizarre but the delivery and nonsense were so well done. I also loved that he was right back in the same mindset of trying to Babu's buddy without missing a beat from the last time Babu was on. George gets an honorable mention for his paranoia and being the central figure of the episode. His rant in the car was masterful.

Best Storyline

I am cheating a bit and tying together Cheryl & George, "Dark" Jerry and Babu because they were all related the entire time. George lands someone so far out of his league but the paranoia leads to him destroying the relationship, a man's livelihood and Elaine's bank account all in one fell swoop. The return of Babu was well handled and it was the perfect hook to round out this story because we were already familiar with him and Jerry's obsession with helping him out as much possible. Good stuff all around.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

Should Elaine take the hit for not getting Jerry his mail? Yes, absolutely. When you agree to pick up someone's mail, you enter a binding agreement that you will deliver that mail upon the friend's return. Plus, she is always visiting Jerry and he never goes there. She is just being lazy and forgetful and it cost poor Babu! Also, her trying to blame Kramer going to the fantasy camp for her failings was just too much. Bad Laney!

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

"Dark" Jerry and Cheryl really could have had something if George didn't blow up his spot. Jerry could get pretty dedicated to role-play, so I bet he could have kept it going for a while. Maybe he could have sat in on Cheryl's cases and gave a depraved insight into the minds of the criminals she was trying to incarcerate. What could have been. Relationship Grade: 8/10

What Worked

George worrying that his friends are too funny and then worrying that he has no place to go but down is perfect Constanza; Babu is back; George's fantasy camp comparison for Kramer was tremendous; Funny stuff with Jerry and Elaine ending up at Isabella's after George went there to dodge them; George was masterful dodging his friends' humor at the restaurant; Cheryl being related to Ping was a good twist too; The conversation about Jerry not having to be funny has always been one of my favorites, as is Jerry suddenly becoming dark and despondent; I love the idea that Kramer is an accomplished pitcher; Babu yelling from the street was great; The curdled milk line always makes me laugh; George selling out Jerry's depravity in the car was really funny; George's paranoia leading to Babu getting deported and Elaine getting sued again is absurdly great; The final scene with Babu in Pakistan is classic

What Didn't Work

Jerry wanting his mail so badly is lame, who cares about mail that much; It was a bit weird that we hadn't heard from Babu at all, but somehow Jerry had gotten him an apartment and a job; Who did Cheryl have to call so badly right then and why do they all assume she is calling Ping, that was a bit uncomfortable

Key Character Debuts

Cheryl Fong

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

- "Oh, everything. Divorce, patents, immigration and naturalization." - Cheryl "What is that, immigrants come over, you show them how to act natural?" - George
- "Ya gotta put on a show, ya always gotta give them a big show. You always have to be 'on' otherwise why would they like me? They'd just go for a better looking guy with more money." - George
- "Ok, I'll see you around the building." - Jerry "I'll see you in the building." - Babu
- "Remember that guy who opened the restaurant across the street from the building last year and he wasn't doing so well and I told him he should make it into all Pakistani and that drove him right out of business?" - Jerry
- "Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors and have sex without dating; that's a fantasy camp." - George
- "Toasting makes me uncomfortable. But toast, I love. Never start the day without a good piece of toast. In fact, let's toast to toast." - George
- " No, no, you can't do that, they're round, it makes an 'eight' and, yeah, well alright." - George
- "He thinks that if you're too funny, he might not look so funny." - Elaine "Biff?" - Jerry "What?" - George "You're not worried about that?" - Jerry "No, of course not." - George "I mean, so what if I'm funny? Who cares?" - Jerry "He thinks that if a woman sees a guy put on a better show, she'll walk out on his show, go see the other show." - Elaine "Well, should we leave?" - George "Maybe you don't have to be so funny. I mean, would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm asking. This woman thinks I'm very funny. Now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny." - George "This is so ridiculous. Can we just go over there?" - Elaine "I don't have to be funny, I don't care" - Jerry "You don't?" - George "No way! It's completely under my control." - Jerry "No, it's not. You cannot not be funny." - Elaine "Of course I can, am I being funny now?" - Jerry "A little." - Elaine "Oh, this is funny? I'm being funny?" - Jerry "Yeah." - Elaine "George, is this funny?"- Jerry "It's funny!" - George
- "Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing." - Jerry
- "Well, you know, we were playing a game and, you know, I was pitching, and I was really throwing some smoke. And Joe Pepitone, he was up, and man that guy, you know, he was crowding the plate." - Kramer "Wow! Joe Pepitone!" - Jerry "Yeah, well, Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate. So I throw one, you know, inside, you know, a little chin music, put him right on his pants. Cause I gotta intimidate when I'm on the mound. Well the next pitch, he's right back in the same place. So, I had to plunk him." - Kramer "You plunked him." - Jerry "Oh yeah. Well, he throws down his bat, he comes racing up to the mound. Next thing, both benches are cleared, you know? A brouhaha breaks out between the guys in the camp, you know, and the old Yankee players, and as I'm trying to get Moose Skowron off of one of my teammates, you know, somebody pulls me from behind, you know, and I turned around and I popped him. I looked down, and woah man, it's Mickey. I punched his lights out." - Kramer
- "You're a very serious person, aren't you?" - Cheryl "Well, with so many people in the world deprived and unhappy, it doesn't seem like it would be fair to be cheerful." - Jerry "I understand...I think it's curdled." - Cheryl "I don't care." - Jerry "Do you ever laugh?" - Cheryl "Not really. Sometimes, when I'm in the tub." - Jerry "That's so sad. What do you do?" - Cheryl "I'm a comedian." - Jerry
- "You had my Visa application?!" - Babu "Well not technically." - Jerry "I kill you!!" - Babu "Well what about her?" - Jerry "I kill both of you!!" - Babu "Babu?!" - Jerry "No Babu! No Babu! You bad man! You very bad man! You very lazy bad man!" - Babu "Babu, I'm gonna fix everything! I have a lawyer who knows someone in the Immigration Department, they're gonna straighten the whole thing out, the wheels are in motion, things are happening even as we speak!" - Jerry "The wheels are in motion?" - Babu "The wheels are in motion, things are happening!" - Jerry
- "Dark and disturbed? His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal. I convinced him to act like that so that you would think I was funnier. That's how disturbed I am! If you want disturbed, that's disturbed. You can't find sickness like that anywhere, you think sickness like that grows on trees? Nobody is sicker than me, nobody. He's pretending, I'm the genuine article." - George
- Elaine offers Babu's brother a Snapple, continuing that running joke
- "Well, the four of them, they picked me up by my pants and they threw me outside, right into a horse." - Kramer

Oddities & Fun Facts

- Kramer attended a Yankees fantasy camp, where he incited a brawl

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

A few nitpicks above, but overall there wasn't much wrong with this one. The dialogue was crisp and really popped and all of the stories tied together perfectly. Kramer's fantasy camp brawl was absurd, but it was kept just in the background enough that it made it work. Jerry, George and Elaine's dalliance with Cheryl from three different angles was really well done and I liked that it continues the trend of weaving season long storylines into these episodes. There were tons of funny quotes here as well and watching Jerry go dark has always been one of my favorite character turns in the series. Final Grade: 7/10

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