WCW Saturday Night 4/1/00
- This is the final episode of this long time wrestling institution and something I have never watched before, so here we go
- The opening animation is terrible and a far cry from the badass robot theme intro from the mid-90s...this is all techno'd up...boo
- Scott Hudson & Larry Zbyszko are our hosts and we are coming from Beaumont, TX...Hudson says this is the final WCWSN before the new takeover of WCW by Bischoff & Russo coming on April 10...the news of their return to power was broken on this very show last week
- Los Fabulosos vs. Jeremy Lopez & Tommy Rogers...I am already sick of hearing the "Powers that Be"...Larry has no idea how Bischoff & Russo will mix and work together...LF are comprised of Silver King & El Dandy, so we know not to doubt them at all...I can't believe Rogers is still hanging around...King cuts a funny promo and he has some awesome full body tights on...they are Latin America's most desirable men, I won't disagree there...this is Lopez's hometown, according to Hudson...Rogers actually controls the early part of the match, looking quite spry...Lash Leroux is at ringside, drawing caricatures for our enjoyment...LF start double teaming Lopez as things turned when Rogers tagged out of the bout...Hudson reminds us of Rogers's tag team past, as part of the Fantastics...Chad Campbell swoons...King & Dandy make a hella fun team...they all end up brawling on the floor and LF drop Lopez on the guardrail with a double hot shot...Hudson keeps asking where Miss Hancock is, so apparently she has some sort of relationship with LF...guessing she couldn't resist the pure sexiness of El Dandy...Lopez is taking a beating but he is hanging in there...King drops him with a single-arm DDT but Lopez avoids a splash and makes the hot tag...Dandy couldn't care less about any sort of tags, as he just walks in and smacks the shit out of Rogers and Lopez...apparently Lopez missed the tag last time, so they repeat it...Rogers is a house of fire but tags Lopez in for some stupid reason...Dandy rolls Lopez over with a Magistral Cradle and gets the win...LF look great...Rogers had a good showing early on but that end was a mess
- Scott & Hudson are in the studio and Hudson is still bemoaning the lack of Hancock...more chatter about the Russo & Bischoff alliance...Larry just doesn't seem how they will possibly work together...he somehow compares this all to nuclear weapons in a way that makes perfect sense...Hudson runs down a portion of tonight's card as we take a break
- Love me some commercials...Buy Positively Page now for only $24.95...watch a weekend TBS marathon of John Wayne movies, which I am sure my Dad did back in April 2000...eat some Starburst Hard Candy if you are a bored teenager looking for fun...David Arquette tells us to use 800-CALLATT for long distance if we want to win tickets to Slamboree or passes for the premier of Ready to Rumble, and I am pretty sure John Cena, Sr was in this ad with Bobby Duncam, Jr...you can save on tired by stopping by Pep Boys...on 4/21, the exhilarating U-571 is released nationwide...be sure to stop by McDonald's to play the Monopoly game and win some cool prizes, natch...you want shiny tires, pick up some Wet Tire shine
- Back from break with a plug for Spring Stampede, coming on 4/16...and then we head down to the ring
- Brian Knobbs is your Hardcore Champion and he heads to the ring because he requested time to speak...Hudson does not enjoy when Knobbs has a mic because anything can happen...he is all sorts of fired up...he wants to throw out all the wrestling holds so things can get hardcore...he issues an open challenge for a hardcore battle royal...the pumped in audience noise goes bonkers for this innovation...the belt will be on a pole and the first man to grab it wins the match...guess Russo is already back in charge...the competitors can bring any weapon they want down to the ring...Knobbs wants to know who is nasty enough to sign on...that was actually a damn good promo from the Nasty Boy...the match is tonight apparently
- We hear a prerecorded promo from Mona about the return of Bischoff & Russo...she says the word is that Eric doesn't like having women involved but Russo loves it, so she looks forward to getting back on TV as part of the women's division...guess she wasn't watching Souled Out 1997
- Break time...the intense, urban flick Black & White opens 4/5...buy Castrol...buy Wolverine boots too, you feel good during and after work...Wendy's can bring estranged couples back together...tune to TNT tomorrow at 8PM for the world premier of the Devil's Advocate, hoo-ah...buy insurance and save money with Coverna Direct...Slim Jim , Singer Asset Finance, Targon Mouthwash and WCW action figures get the promotional consideration spots...Targon is aimed directly at smokers, interestingly enough
- Little Jeannie vs. Mona...time for some women's action and Hudson is taking cover because apparently things go out of hand last week...seems like these two were partners last week but things got messy...not sure who Jeannie is or if she went anywhere after this...Mona, of course, is the the sweet, pure Molly Holly...she also has some funky sexed up biker music to bring her out...Hudson is a perv, somehow that didn't come up when we interviewed him...Hudson puts over Mona's strength and the size of her gams would back that up...Larry thinks she is too nice and will get taken advantage of...Jeannie works her over and gets two from a suplex...more talk about the new regime and how it will affect the PPV...it will be a blank slate in Chicago as everything planned is now out the window...Jennie hooks in a spinning toehold and transitions into a Boston Crab...Jeannie is pretty solid...Jeannie goes right back to the leg in between chucking Mona around by the hair...Mona slugs out of a chinlock but Jeannie takes right back over...Jeannie charges but ends up on the floor...Mona slings her back into the ring and takes her over with a bridging Northern Lights suplex for two...she follows with a handspring elbow and a bulldog for two...Mona turns her over with a surfboard into a pinning combination to get the win...Asya hits the ring to the shock of Hudson and she works with Jeannie to beat Mona down...Asya hooks a figure four chokehold, wiping Mona out...Asya is huge...this was a pretty good match and a nice development in the growing women's division...well done all around
- Break time...Ready to Rumble comes into our lives soon, no date given...WCW is headed to Youngstown, OH, Worcester, MA, Durham, NH, Chatanooga, TN and Huntsville, AL...check out the Skulls, now playing, Pacy is in it dammit, so go now...if you need to travel, Greyhound has a $69 go anywhere fee...Nintendo 64 now comes in six new colors, buy them all now...give your dogs Kibbles & Bits and they will be strong like Rocky...Arsenio Hall wants us all to use 800-COLLECT, and something tells me he won't accept the charges...go to Pep Boys for new shocks and save some dough
- WCW Magazine is on newstands now...Kevin Nash on the cover and Torrie Wilson is your centerfold...Hudson perving again
- Kid Romeo vs. Alan Funk...Lash's easel is still out in the aisle as Romeo saunters down to the ring...Hudson discusses the recent issue between Jimmy Hart and Mancow on Nitro...Mancow was trashing Hulk Hogan and Hart had enough so he wiped out Mancow in his very own studio...Alan Funk jumps Romeo from behind and beats the crap out of him...he is wearing a tutu, confounding our announcers...Funk gets dumped outside and Romeo flies over with a plancha...Romeo eats steel on the floor as this thing has gotten out of control...they finally head back inside...Hudson notes that young talent like this is what Russo wants to push to the top of WCW while Bischoff wants to bring back the established stars...Lash is back drawing...Romeo hits a nice faceplant...Funk counters with an overhead release throw...the Russo/Bischoff debate continues as Barry Horowitz comes to ringside to scout Funk as there is apparently a lot of bad blood between the two...Funk hits a nice inverted powerbomb but Horowitz distracts him from covering...Hudson reminds us this is the final WCW broadcast before the new eras begins...Romeo lands a butterfly suplex but can't recover quickly enough to take advantage...both men fight to their feet but Romeo lands an enziguri and powerslam for a pair of near falls...after an ugly criss-cross, Horowitz hooks the top rope and Funk crashes to the floor...Romeo goes out to fetch him, chucks him back inside and covers for the win
- We get a promo from Lash Leroux and Lodi and neither seem pleased with the return of Bischoff and Russo...Lash says Bischoff barely talked two him for two years and Lodi says Russo promised them the world but they are still ham and eggers
- Commercials...Arquette, Duncum and Cena for 800-CALLATT...Castrol GTX, drive hard...Wolverine boots, tough as fucking nails...Arm & Hammer PM toothpaste to get that fresh breath to last throughout the night...Mark Messier and some hump sell us Ruffles chips...Yamaha VStar can allow you to relive your youth
- Heavy Ready to Rumble push is in effect as we get a full music video with clips of the movie and other miscellany set to a cover of "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Biff Naked, which was the official song for this artistic masterpiece...amazing
- Lash Leroux vs. Frankie Lancaster...Hudson notes that Ready to Rumble opens this weekend, first time we have been given an actual date for this thing...after Hudson notes that the song is a cover of the Twister Sister original, Larry realizes he has heard the song before...Lash puts the markers down and is ready for action now...Hudson keeps talking about New Orleans and caricatures...Lash is a weird dude with his bizarre mannerisms...Hudson makes a Bruno Sammartino joke and Larry threatens to break his knee...Hudson uses this matchup as an allegory for the coming struggles between Russo and Bischoff as Lash represents the young crew while Lancaster is a grizzled veteran...he notes that Lash has been in contention for the cruiserweight title in the past...Larry looks at the issue from a wrestler's POV...he thinks Bischoff has to be starter to deal with the wily veterans while Russo can take advantage of the naive youngsters...it is interesting how they are setting this whole thing up and I wonder if this was the original plan or if this is all just a misdirection...pretty sure it was the former...Lancaster drops Lash across the top rope and follows with a swinging neckbreaker for a near fall...Larry puts over the plateau that Knobbs has raised the hardcore division to, even though he doesn't like it...Lancaster hooks in a chinlock as Hudson notes that Russo brought in the hardcore division while Bischoff never had one under his watch...Leroux can't get it going as the Thumper is controlling the action...Frankie drops Lash with a scoop slam as the debate rages on...Frankie gets caught with a pair of knees as he comes off the middle rope, giving Lash an opening to heat up...the Cajun Ginger hits a top rope shoulderblock followed by the Whiplash for two...wow, surprised Frankie survived that one...Lash hits the Whiplash 2000 and gets the win...apparently there are all sorts of levels to Lash's finishers...fine match that actually seemed like more of a showcase for Lancaster than for Lash...guess Bischoff won that war despite Russo winning the battle
- Time for a break...tune in to TBS on April 16 for the world premier of The Game, starring Michael Douglas & Sean Penn and not Triple H or Scott Criscuolo...be sure to also hit the town as Rules of Engagement is coming to theaters this Friday...Barry White and a group of bikers join us to pimp the Yamaha Roadstar bike...buy Juicy Fruit gum and you can do crazy shit with your mind...some kids tell us they won't smoke because their parents had the talk with them and also refused to let them borrow Targon mouthwash...A2Z wheel cleaner will give you some squeaky clean wheels...Lisa & Grandpa Simpson sells us Butterfingers
- Closed captioning is sponsored by the all new AOL 5.0...sign up today
- Hugh Morrus vs. Steve Armstrong...Armstrong has a baggy Tye-dye shirt and jeans on...fucking hippie...damn, he is looking old...Larry wants to demonstrate a front chancery on Hudson to try to bump their low ratings...Hudson wonders where Hugh fits in with this new regime because he could really fall into either grouping...Larry is curious to see what each guy has in mind for who fits their mold...he thinks Russo will pick on the insecure guys while Bischoff puts up with the hard-to-deal-with pros...Morrus hammers away but Armstrong comes back with a flurry of armdrags...Larry thinks Russo tried to take shortcuts before by forcing the young guys to be stars and that failed him...Hudson disagrees, saying you need to pump the young guys up to ensure there is a future..this is really weird to listen to in retrospect...Hugh drops a pair of headbutts for a near fall...Larry promises that death, taxes and wrestling will go on forever...so far, he is right...Armstrong flies in with a sloppy forearm...would it kill him to wear some tights...Armstrong gets a sunset flip for a two count...Hudson now admits he has a huge crush on Mona out of nowhere to make a point about Hugh's strength and agility...Hugh smashes Armstrong in the corner and polishes him off with the No Laughing Matter...Armstrong looked terrible here, fine outing for Hugh
- Commercials...visit the Nitro Girls website for some sex, or something...the bored kids and their Starburst hard candies are back at it...so are Arquette, Duncum and Cena...tires at Pep Boys...Burger King has made life easier for the busy businessman with new pancake minis, courtesy John Goodman...if you are into electronics and the future you should learn about that shit at ITT Technical Institute...Opening Day is finally upon us as the Braves battle the Rockies Monday at 4PM...Chad Campbell weeps
- Hudson shows us clips of a recent event down in Tampa at the Sun Dome as WCW hooked up with the Backstreet Boys to play basketball against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers...Hogan & Jimmy Hart were coaches and Tony Schiavone, Warren Sapp and Shaun King are name dropped as hot stars in attendance...the ladies swooned at the sight of Three Count and BSB chillaxing
- Three Count vs. Shark Boy, Frank Paris & Elix Skipper...TC are without their green dancing dots, as they were pilfered by the Jung Dragons...all three tell us how sexy they are and make some Val Venis-esque double entendres...and now they sing and dance for us to the delight of some chicks in the crowd...their opponents head out, interrupting the dance party...Hudson puts over Paris as he has been watching him on the Indy scene...more Russo chatter since we have some young guys in the ring...Shark Boy takes a hunk out of Moore and Helms before things break down and everyone starts brawling in the ring...Evan & Shannon end up on the floor and they are met by Paris & Elix, who come flying over the top rope...Shark hammers away on Helms in the corner and then bites his head...Shane counters with a spinebuster but Moore comes up empty with a corkscrew senton...Elix is in and starts to work over Moore, impressing Larry...Helms decks Skipper from behind to turn the tide...Evan is in next and he snaps Skipper over with a powerslam for a near fall...Skipper starts hammering back and the two are trading blows until Skipper lands a belly-to-belly...Paris tags in and he is cleaning house on all of Three Count...all six are back at it, brawling in the ring again...TC triple teams Paris and finishes him off with an assisted inverted powerbomb for the win
- Break time...check out Black & White, in theaters 4/5...Castrol, drive hard...Wolverine: comfort, toughness and pure awesome...Wendy's will prevent your divorce, just ask Dave Thomas...buy a Mazda Protege and you are guaranteed to have fun on a Friday night...check out the NBA on both TBS and TNT as all the teams gun for the title all season long
- We head back to Nitro for a clip of DDP plugging Ready to Rumble before being interrupted by Jeff Jarrett, who threatens to crash the premier party for the movie
- Chris Harris vs. Chuck Palumbo...the Wildcat heads to the ring for our next bout...his jacket is really damn baggy...West Warwick's own Chucky P hits the ring, decked out in jungle themed tights...Hudson notes that Chuck is from the Power Plant and also notes that Vince Russo is taking notes of these young studs...Larry makes a point that the future is never the present and that is Bischoff's stance...Palumbo gets off to a hot start, tossing Harris around...more talk about Hogan and Mancow, Larry defends Hulk for not lowering himself for breaking Mancow in half...Chuck snaps off a powerslam for two as Harris bails to the floor...Lash is back out at his easel and he has drawn a picture of Mancow and Jimmy Hart...Chuck smacks Harris around on the floor and keeps the attack on back inside...Harris is able to crotch Chuck on the top rope to slow him down...Harris continues to attack the groin with an atomic drop...I wouldn't have watched this episode if I knew I was going to have to hear the name Leroux constantly throughout it...Harris goes to a chinlock and taunts Palumbo, asking him about Tarzan...Palumbo break free and the two exchange right hands before Harris gets a belly-to-belly...he heads up top and comes off with a cross body for a near fall...back to a slugfest as Palumbo makes his comeback...Harris staggers around and walks right into a jungle kick...Palumbo goes to the top and hits a flying shoulderblock to the back of Harris for the win...Harris definitely fucked that up as he was across the ring, stumbling around aimlessly
- Hugh Morrus gives his thoughts on Russo & Bischoff...he assumed they were always working together
- Time for a break...geez Luth, Pacy and Coach Hayden Fox are in the Skulls, so check that out...ride Greyhound...Nintendo 64 is in some new colors...Kibbles & Bits makes your dog strong and lean...buy shocks at Pep Boys...Adam Carolla implores some chick to use 800-COLLECT because it is cheap and easy, like Adam himself...clean your tires with Eagle One...promotional consideration thanks to AOL 5.0, 800-BAR-NONE, Sixth Sense on DVD and WCW Battle Arm toys
- Cassidy Riley vs. Hail...Riley has quite the challenge ahead of him...Jimmy Hart leads out Hail, who is a big mother fucking bastard...we get a helpful graphic stating there is a hail warning in effect...Hail has destroyed guys week in and week out here on WCWSN, learning his lethal stuff piledriver from watching tapes of Paul Orndroff....Riley looks frightened...Hudson hopes Hail has mercy on Riley so he doesn't end up in the emergency room...Hail gives Riley a free shot, which leads to nothing good...Hail smacks Riley around and then drops him with a press slam...big time push on commentary for this hoss...Hail crushes Riley with the jumping stuff piledriver for the easy win...Hart has found a new monster meal ticket...Riley is taken out on a stretcher
- Chuck Palumbo is looking forward to Russo & Bischoff if their intent is to push young talent...he is just happy to have a job in WCW
- Commercials...WCW home video VHS tapes for Sid, Sting and the Nitro Girls on sale now...check out TBS on 4/9 for the TV premier of Burglar, with Whoopi Goldberg and John Goodman...Arquette, Duncum and Cena want to send us to Kansas City, courtesy 800-CALLATT...Castrol will lube your car's motor nicely...Wolverine will protect you, and give you comfort and love while you work...play Monopoly at McDonald's...Ready to Rumble heads to theaters 4/7 to the delight of millions
- Watch Spring Stampede on 4/16...there is no card but we promise lots of surprises
- Mamalukes vs. Kory Williams & Ashley Hudson...Hudson & Williams could be female adult film stars with those names...the former tag champs, Big Vito & Johnny the Bull, are out next, serenaded by a knock off of Speak Softly, Love...they are not pleased with the management of Disco Inferno and feel he cost them their belts...they fit well with Russo's plan, says Hudson...Vito is angry and demands to be announced as the Paisans and not the Mamalukes, which Hudson reveals was a name given to them by Disco...Vito drills Hudson with a right hand and then crushes him with a clothesline...Bull tags in and they cream Hudson with a double elbow...Larry loves that a dude named Hudson is getting abused...Bull takes Hudson's head off with a great jumping swing kick...the Mamalukes are a good unit, working at a hard, fast, crisp pace...Larry says Bischoff only looks at wrestlers in terms of box office...Vito clubs the shit out of Hudson, who maybe should look into adult films if he wants to take less of a pounding...Bull press slams Hudson violently to the mat...Vito continues to beat on Hudson with abandon but misses a charge in the corner...Williams finally tags in and he gets a few licks in on both Vito & Bull...that ends quickly as Bull hoists Williams up and Vito kicks him square in the grill...Vito follows with a spinning DDT for the victory...great squash there
- Time for a break...Ready to Rumble, April 7, yup...Rules of Engagement, Friday...Barry White, bikers, bikes...Juicy Fruit, mind freak...these kids ain't smoking, they swear...John Wayne on TBS, kicking ass next...Mazda will drive you to a hell of a fun night on the town...Election 2000 is coming and CNN will be there to cover it all, hopefully it all goes down smoothly and without issue
- Hardcore Battle Royal...the title is hanging on a pole in the corner as it is now Main Event title...Knobbs wheels out a giant bin of plunder, ladder included...Knobbs welcomes any challengers...and they pour out of the locker room one by one, weapons in tow...Adrian Byrd, Dave Burkhead, Rick Fuller, Norman Smiley and Dog...Smiley is of course a former Hardcore Champ and is wearing his football regalia...this is quite the list of luminaries...they all brawl in the ring, taking turns smashing Knobbs with weapons...Dog is attacking his master, Knobbs...chair and trash can shots abound in this mess of chaos...Smiley is the first to go for the title but Dog stops him...Knobbs breaks out a fire extinguisher to clear the ring and then starts bashing everyone with the trash can lid...Burkhead takes a nasty chair shot from Knobbs...Smiley stops the champ from grabbing his title...Hudson reiterates that this is the end of WCW as we know it...Smiley is just picking guys off as they climb for the title...4/10 will see the rebirth of WCW, live from Denver...the crowd is digging this one and it is pretty fun to watch as they just beat the piss out of each other...Knobbs eats the ladder as he continues to be the target of all the challengers...Knobbs battles back, using the ladder to clear house...Burkhead takes two more gross shots, this time from the ladder...that dude is nuts...Smiley is the last one standing tall so he gives Knobbs the Big Wiggle and then smacks him with the lid...Fuller blocks him from grabbing the belt...Smiley tries again, but Knobbs cracks him in the nuts with a kendo stick...Dog drills Knobbs with a trash can but Smiley and Fuller stop him from climbing...Smiley is alone again, he dances and then climbs a ladder in the corner but Knobbs hits him with the chair...Knobbs scales the ladder, grabs the title and wins the bout to retain his title
- And that will wrap up WCW Saturday Night...an illustrious show that was the mothership, the main home for Jim Crockett and WCW for decades fades away and the final image we see is a caricature of Jimmy Hart and Mancow...good night, everyone
Review Date: March 2013
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